I (23M) have a not-very-close friend (25?F) who seemed like a good candidate for a FWB relationship. She seemed intelligent and trustworthy and not unattractive, but all the conversations we have are really flat and uninteresting. One time I was driving her home from an event and she asked if I wanted to come in. I was totally not expecting it, and she seemed kinda drunk at the time, so I said no.
Two weeks later I asked if that offer was still on the table and we ended up doing it. It was… okay? Turns out pussy still feels really good, and she seemed to enjoy it a lot!
There was some weird stuff though:
– The smell was fairly strong. I’m pretty sure I smelled vagina as I was using her bathroom before we even had sex!
– She made the same exact noise in a constant rhythm as I was thrusting. It was like I was hitting a button on each thrust, and it felt really fake.
– After round 1 we found an M&M in her bed and she ate it??? (Yes I still went for round 2… I was already there, after all 😐)
– She said she wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship because of some stuff she had to work through but “she would be
open to” a romantic relationship with me
After the first nut, I had massive post-nut clarity and asked myself, “What am I doing here? I’m not interested in this person at all, just her body.” She was my second sexual partner, my first being a GF of 2 years. I realized I was kissing someone with whom I shared no emotional attachment, and that bothered me. But after cuddling for a while I got hard again and decided to get one for the road 🤪
At first I told her I’d have to see about hooking up again, because I felt really weird about my first time doing casual sex. I got home and texted her that I didn’t think the whole FWB thing was for me. I laughed at and with myself about the whole experience and thought that would be the end of it. I was wrong.
I was horny again by noon the next day, and two days later I was so insanely horny for several hours that I had pre-cum leak through my underwear AND my shorts. Thankfully I had a hoodie to hide the stain as I walked to the bathroom to get cleaned up! I felt like testosterone incarnate. It was genuinely scary!
I was so desperate I debated telling her I wanted to try again. I was 95% sure she’d say yes, and available (albeit odd) sex is still tempting.
I’ve also thought about Tinder to find a partner who I’m at least a bit more interested in, but when I tried serious dating on Hinge I got basically no interest and I don’t expect Tinder to be better.
Or I’m wondering if I should just move on and forget it all happened, even though I’ll still see this person about once a week elsewhere in my life. There’s more to life than sex, after all. It just sucks because it’s a part of me that I might just be putting back on the shelf for months, if not years. But it’s so much more emotionally fulfilling with a real connection.
Any advice for any part of this mess of a post? 😅
17 comments
First, the M&M part has me cracking up. I would probably eat it too if I found one in my bed.
Anyways, if you enjoy the sex enough to want more, then keep doing it. I also enjoy sex more when there’s an emotional connection, but I’m getting quite desperate (it’s been years) and I’m beginning to seek just casual hookups. I would suggest Tinder tho. Hinge is more for dating, but you might be able to match with some girls for quick hookups. Worth a try.
There are many types of sexuality – including where you need to care about and like a person to have sex with them. But anyway! If you wanna get some, GET SOME! But don’t lead her on, and don’t get hooked and then too lazy to continue searching for a better more compatible match. Stinky vag and the m&m is totally cool in my book just fyi 😂😂😂
Trust in the post nut clarity.
Bruh one for the road 😂☠️
Anyway, stinky vag and eating old stale M&Ms found somewhere in the bedsheets would be a NO for me dawg.
Trust the post nut clarity. I’ve been there too many times, you’ll learn it’s often not worth it.
Damn man that’s weird af! 😂. But while your looking, just keep banging this chick out. Like in the mean time. Especially if you’re horny af dude. I’d rather be horny and balls deep in some pussy than jacking off with none.
I’m bored
It sounds to me that a part of it could be that you got a bit scared that she would become emotionally attached to you. If you are still interested in trying out the FWB thing, then a good honest discussion about it could help.
It sounds like your dick is craving the physical sensation of a vagina but your brain is craving the emotional intimacy of a deeper connection. The former can override the latter and libido is powerful, so I suggest getting a fleshlight with a really intense sleeve to keep you satisfied sexually while you’re free to be more selective with your partners since you’re no longer ruled by a separate need. I know toys will never compare to sex etc etc but if you haven’t tried a fleshlight then it will be a fun way to give your dick what he wants.
You ate the m&m… bruh.. that’s a proposal!
None of that is supper wierd, maybe the smell of it was really that strong can be kind of a put off for some. Just keep pounding, yes it’s ok to use her for her body as long as she understands, she is probably using you for yours!
I would keep going and take it as an opportunity to live out some fantasies. She sounds pretty flexible and flexible is fun.
It sounds like she is way more into you than you are to her, which never ends well. I wouldn’t pursue this any further if I were you. I made a v similar mistake years ago with a friend of my sister (also v strong and pretty unpleasant smell by coincidence); I went back for more and she got more and more into me and started sending cards etc, it really didn’t end well
Bro I can completely relate. I’m 45m. 8 yrs since divorce. I’ve had a few partners over the last 8 yrs but there is this one very toxic girl.
When we both aren’t dating anyone, we get together. There is no emotional connection. Just sex. It does leave you rather empty when the sex is over. Bc of her I have realized that a FWB is not what I want. But we all have needs. She is the same so pls don’t think I’m using her. I asked her she has plenty of guys that she could call for a release. Why does she ask me? She says bc I’m the best at it when it comes to giving her releases. Lol
Get out of your own head
Woman here. I personally had a fwb for awhile and we were absolutely just friends. It’s fine to just have someone for sex as long as you’re both aware of the purpose! Don’t overthink it. If she’s down and you’re down, go for it.
>It just sucks because it’s a part of me that I might just be putting back on the shelf for months, if not years. But it’s so much more emotionally fulfilling with a real connection.
Uh why does it have to be back on the shelf for months or years? Dating exists. Finding women you actually like and want to fuck is possible.
Hookups without a connection are pretty meh IMO, and it sounds like you agree. So… work on finding a hookup you connect with.
This feels so relatable, I recently hooked up with a friend of a couple of years on a very random occasion, and now feel like I’m constantly wanting to do it more again. Mix that with a simultaneous fear of abandonment and commitment and it’s a fun time all round 💀