I’ll be with friends and for some reason I always become the one that is picked on for a laugh. At first it’s funny but then it becomes repetitive and feels like they power over me.
I’m quite social and chatty, maybe I try too hard to be liked but I’m not sure.
Edit: so everyone is suggesting I put it back on them but thing is I naturally don’t like making fun of people because they get pissed at me for it, thanks for the replies tho
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Read 48 laws of power and…bulk up …learn fighting….pick fight with someone that u can beat from out group…show them u r brutal
Take a dollar and become a millionaire 😂
You should start setting boundaries and let people know if there are things you don’t want them to joke about. Do not laugh along to jokes you don’t find funny.
Think about it this way: No one would dare to pick on a guy who has a hot temper, right? But they will pick on the nice person who always lets things slide. So not saying that you need to develop a temper, but people need to feel that there are consequences if they cross the line with you (the consequences could just be you no longer hanging out with them).
i’m sorry this is happening to you, but ur gonna have to tell them to stop :/ maybe “okay we get it, damn” or “it was funny the first 300 times” to keep it lighthearted
Is it one person amongst the group or one person with others enabling them?
I have struggled with this as well before. The thing is by being quite social and chatty you are allowing yourself to pass on more information about yourself than others are about themselves and this can lead to toxic people being toxic. Setting boundaries with people is VERY important the next time this happens laugh a bit but say “can you guys please chill on these jokes it’s starting to annoy me and I’m not feeling respected” literally say this. If they respect you as a friend they’ll take the advise on board if they don’t respect it then I think it’s time to evaluate if these are friends worth keeping around. Best of luck mate! Edit: PS there is nothing wrong in being social and chatty with the right friends as long as they don’t use it to make fun of you! Overnout.
I used to be the butt of all jokes. And then i started stealing the punchlines and make fun of myself and started laughing the loudest at all the jokes. And people wgo were making fun of me lost interest. Cuz i was kinda enjoying it a little too much and making a spectacle of it. And then it stopped.
literally was coming here to post the same thing. you’re not alone here. i hope they either stop and realize it’s not funny, or you find better friends soon op :,(
Before you become the butt of the joke you can steal the thing their gonna say and be like oh and let me guess, I’m the butt again haha so funny
Do that like 3 times and ur cured.
Sarcastic responses to them making the joke again will just make bad feelings all around. I would bring it up sincerely when you meet with them or do it in a message.
“Hey guys, I love you all and I know you love me too. But I am starting to feel bothered by always being the butt of the joke. I know you are doing it to laugh and not to make me feel bad, but I wanted to let you all know how it makes me feel. Now let’s group hug and eat pizza”
idk something like that.
If they don’t stop after that then go full sass and dump them
My sister went through the same thing. Were you friends with this group since school? This is likely the case.
You have to talk to each individually. Start with the worst offender(s), ie the one who is the ringleader or the most consistently derogatory. Explain that this hurts you. Do it after you are both together hanging out alone and have had a few drinks if need be.
If they don’t stop, it might be time to take a break from these friends for a minute.
lol relax, some friends cut it up on each other all the time. You listen to these basement dwellers on reddit its gonna be worse. This sub and reddit in general is full of socially inept people. You’re being too hard on yourself, none of us are perfect and thats perfectly ok. Joke with them and relax. Sometimes friends are harsh when messing around and it can be fun if you can dish it back. If youre truly that upset quit fake smiling and laughing with them. If they continue when you are visibly getting hurt then they are not your friends maybe its time to find new ones. You could also have some jokes ready next time you go out to fight back. They make a fat joke tell them its because their mom or girlfriend makes you a sandwich everytime you have sex. They say something about your clothes tell them their mother doesnt mind. Careful tho dont get beat up lol.
You just don’t react at all. Your friends notice that, unlike others, you don’t react to jokes. Try to react sharply one time, showing that you are unpleasant. Then they will understand, apologize and stop.
Tell them to shut the fuck up with the most serious tone and expressionless face. Do this every time until they stop.
I feel the same way. I don’t mind being the butt ofbthe joke, as long as it’s original. You gotta hit them with a low-energy “you already made that joke” and try to come off as disappointed in their lack of comedic ability. Stuff like “man, I remember when you used to be funny/original.” You gotta remind them that the only reason you allow yourself to be the butt of the joke is because it’s funny, and when you don’t find it funny anymore, then it’s not allowed.
Look, if they are good people (and your true friends), it only takes you making it clear you don’t appreciate being made fun of once.
Don’t laugh, don’t “ohoh silly me yeah”
Keep a cold expression on your face.
But before that have a open conversation about how it’s bothering you, I’m sure if they like you and care about your feeling they will stop doing something that hurts you.
There’s a three second window for returning fire. Everyone has an Achilles heel, exploit theirs, and they will quit. “Did your mole tell you that one?” “Why are your teeth yellow?”Good one, pancake titties,” the insults are endless. Never bleed in the water. They will smell it a mile away.
Have you ever actually said “hey, please don’t, that’s not funny anymore and it hurts my feelings” or are you the type of person to laugh (even if it’s uncomfortable) and try to just brush it off & change the subject?
Obviously you shouldn’t *have* to outright say “please stop”. We all hope our friends are emotionally intelligent enough or know us well enough to look at our face, see we’re not having fun & realise for themselves that they crossed a line. But the truth is, most people *aren’t* that smart or intuitive or observant. They want to make a joke & be seen as funny – you technically laugh – they pat themselves on the back for being hilarious. They don’t look any deeper because they don’t want to. They tell themselves “OP is my friend, they’d tell me if I hurt their feelings”. While you’re sitting opposite telling yourself “they’re my friend, they shouldn’t need me to tell them they hurt my feelings they should just *know*”.
Tell them. Pull the ringleader aside and say to them “hey friend, I know you don’t mean anything by it but the repeated jokes about xyz are really starting to upset me. I’m sorry, I know I should’ve said something earlier because I know you wouldn’t actually want to hurt my feelings – I was just embarrassed. But I’d really appreciate it if you could stop making those jokes moving forward. Thanks!”
It’s hard to fix this with friends you already have because ppl usually tap their feet in the water and then knees and then they go in full body, at some point someone made a joke that was extreme and you didn’t make a reaction so it’s a green light for them to keep on picking on you.
Please try these- basically make it awkward for them!!
1) Act like you don’t get the joke and clarify what they meant.. You’ll feel dumb not laughing or smiling but ask “what do you mean by that?” And if they don’t answer say, “No really. I don’t get it. What do you mean by that?” After a few times, they’ll catch on.
OR try this
2) This one points out the offensiveness of what was said.
Laugh along with them when they make the joke.. as the laughter quiets down, be the last person laughing and then you say the joke in a more serious/calm tone.
Example:
—Your friend says “hahaha sorry I’m late guys but I figured I’d arrive at the same time as _djsmiff_”
— Cue everyone laughing including you.
— Then as laughter dies down and you’re the last remaining person laughing you change your expression to blank and say, “Yes, that’s funny because I try to be on time but I’m always late.”
I know it sounds stupid but it really does work. Make it awkward for them and keep doing so until they stop. If you’re consistent, they will catch on.
Last option is to just flat out say, “It doesn’t feel good to be the butt of your joke” and say it every time they do it.
Get thicker skin or new friends.
Lots of mixed answers here but honestly, you can either joke back, or set the pace. Sometimes just ignoring them and moving on with a topic is a good way to make a joke seem not cool without having to be an asshole about it. You and your friends are growing up together, laugh if you think it is funny, walk away if you don’t. You have to teach people how to treat you to be taken seriously
Throw jabs back at them
What does it feel like when they make a joke at your expense?
I think u need to be more assertive and confident in yourself. Don’t make fun of them if u don’t want to but u could tell them to back off then and if they get pissed they’re not ur real friends then are they
This was me, and I guess technically was still me until recently. This feeling can derail people that are not at all “trying too hard” or anything like that.
I got really sick of it, and tbh I’m big on the idea of “people will treat you how you allow them to treat you”. So I opted to make it awkward for everyone involved, and directly point it out to the group if I had been the butt of the joke for an obviously extended amount of time (i’m talking 2+ minutes of just laughing and joking at my expense without my input. “Hey can we maybe not just sit here and pick on me when I don’t do that shit to any of ya’ll?”, and I got up and left. Was it awkward? Yeah. Did I get 3 texts after dinner apologizing and saying they’ll be more mindful in the future? Also yeah. Has it happened since? No. Are we all still friends that have a great time together? Yeah!!
If you express how it is making you feel, and they blow you off— you need better, more empathetic, friends.
I was once this friend. Idk how it happened but every friend group I became a part of I just always seemed to be the one they made fun of. Honestly the only way to stop it is to start clapping back. Don’t care if it makes them mad. Because why do they think it’s ok to always poke fun at you but the minute you give back the same energy, they get mad? Show them what it’s like and they’ll stop. And probably work on getting new friends too