Long story short, my (25f) boyfriend (27m) have been together a little over a year. Before I met him, I dated extreme assholes and narcissists that really fucked me up in the head. I also had a lifetime of trauma that has made it hard to create healthy relationships. But when I met my current boyfriend he has proven to me he really is a good guy. Beyond a good guy, he is quite the gentleman I never thought existed. The honeymoon phase was awesome. I was definitely on cloud 9. Then as we got closer I noticed old toxic traits coming from me. I always blamed my exes for their toxicity, but I had the realization that I wasn’t nearly as bad as them, but I still had traits that weren’t healthy. My boyfriend has been very patient with me, also I began therapy and it has been eye opening. But I have hurt him with my lack of trust, my mean comments, and other bitchy things. (Which I am aware of and making the changes) but the thing is, his sister absolutely hates me. I have never met her in real life, but she told him we don’t need to be together. I don’t know the rest but I think I have an idea.
Months ago he asked me to join his cousins wedding with him, which I agreed to, and his sister will be there. And I’m terrified. I know I fucked up in the past, and she has a right to dislike me. But I don’t know how to handle this. Should I back out & not go? I can’t imagine meeting her knowing she has this terrible idea of me in her head. Oh did I mention I struggle with severe anxiety? Help please. What should I do
2 comments
Be yourself! That’s all you can do.
I’ve been in a painful relationship. I’ve told people close to me then it hurt. What I didn’t do as often was telling them how happy I was. So people (like his sister) will likely develop skewed view about my partner. The best you can do is go with him, so everyone would get to see how happy he is, how awesome you are and allow them to understand that reality is not as bad as it sounds.