What the fuck do I make of this situation

20 comments

1. They probably think you are cute and we’re nervous to approach you so it came off awkward

2. Either they just wanted to talk to you but kinda messed up or they really wanted to toy with you

3. I mean, no offense, but you sound very insecure and kind of judgmental tbh. When they asked if your brother is cute, your first thought was “oh, they must be implying I’m not.” Unless they said “oh, does he look normal?” Or “oh, is he actually cute, unlike you?” I highly doubt they were making fun of you with that. Personally, I think they were just trying to be nice (or, maybe they think *you’re* cute? Idk, hard to really tell without being there in person). I’d just try to take it in stride and be nice, you know? If they *were* trying to mess with you, just be happy and nice—it will throw them off and they’ll stop. If they weren’t trying to be rude you just made new friends. Win win

4. It does sound odd, and, as you describe it, —it sounds like it *could’ve* been deceptive, manipulative, or mean-spirited.

   It certainly seems a bit creepy, doesn’t it? People who are learning how to people can be pretty awkward.

   What should you make of it?
   That this is probably more about them, not so much about you.

   What ought you to do about it?

   Continue to be gentle and kind.

   Show grace.

   …With enough practice you can simultaneously do this for others and for yourself as well. There’s something amazingly wonderful —and powerful —about simply *being consistently humble, kind, and warm* that some folks never seem to grasp.

5. From my high school experience, that’s how some people make new friends. You made it weirder than it should’ve been. Probably why you don’t have any friends

6. Feel like this happened because you seemed like someone they could toy with but if you didn’t act like judgmental and tried to actually have a conversation then they probably wouldn’t have acted weird

   This isn’t a shot to you btw just my suggestion

7. I’m not sure why others are saying “stop assuming” because I’ve known so many girls like that in highschool…

   Highschool girls are mean!! I’m sure you’re quiet so they just want to mess with you. Honestly giving them those “dry” answers and nothing to work with was the best thing to do. Don’t think about it too hard! I always approached quieter people to genuinely make friends, but from how you describe them they don’t sound genuine at all unfortunately. But it doesn’t seem like they’re the type I’D want to be around, so…

8. If it were me, next time I see the girl on the left I’d do a simple wave walking down the hall. Don’t stop unless she engages you. Do it 2-3 times and if she ignores you leave it be and move on. If she engages you, use active listening skills and questions about her to MAYBE find out where she’s coming from. Or be direct and ask in a nonconfrontational manner what she meant by best friends.

   She seemed interested in you as a person or uncomfortable sitting by someone they didn’t know or she actually thought you were cute.

9. It definitely sounds like they think you’re hot and were trying to see if you weee interested, especially considering the comment about you being in 11th grade. It sounds like you might be projecting some insecurities onto them. If you consider that they don’t know any of the things about you or your life that you might consider reasons to make fun of you or mess with you, it seems unlikely that they would go through all of this for that reason. Additionally, people usually don’t do strategize and do this kind of thing ( especially in high school ) unless they’re trying to gain something. I think they wanted to fuck you, dude. Probably together. Lol.

10. I’d keep my distance from them personally. I ain’t been in high school for over a decade now but in my experience this the type of nonsense that leads to taking advantage of people. If they try to do that again I’d just find somewhere else to sit. They were definitely fucking with you.

    Edit: Alotta comments in here are saying you were weird. You were not weird to have your guard up to total strangers who just come and impose themselves on you like that. You don’t owe them a conversation. You don’t owe them information about yourself. Your intuition was correct here.

11. Go with your guts. I know a lot of these were your inner thoughts and I am sure you sounded nice and polite to them. It can go either way. It almost sounded like one of them liked you or was messing with you. I honestly don’t know 🫠. If they approach you again then please try because it would be the first option.

12. I wouldn’t usually comment, but I need to say, people in these comments are blaming you much more than they should be. None of this is your fault. Some high school girls are just mean and they like to do stuff like this. That’s all. Don’t listen to the people in the comments who make it seem like it’s your fault, it will make your anxiety even worse making you think that you need to do more or better when in reality the girls were just messing around. Move on from this, they aren’t worth your thinking time.

13. Yeah I don’t know where all these folks saying you are insecure are coming from, I totally get the feel going off what you told me these girls were bullying you. Ive had similiar encounters where some girls have remarked how my siblings looked cute and “what happened to me” when I was younger. I dunno I felt like they were setting u up to dunk on you. But without having actually seen what happened it’s hard for us to say. Trust your gut though jts never usually wrong.

14. Nothing wrong with you. I would have been the same way considering high school for me was brutal hell and I experienced more harassment than I ever found genuine friendship. They were messing with you. It sucks to hear people still acting this petty in high school. I left high school in 2011. Would have graduated in 2013 if I hadn’t dropped out. So 12 years ago and nothing has changed. Avoid them next time, or tell them you’re not interested in allowing them to sit next to you anymore if they make you uncomfortable.

15. To be honest, they sound like high schoolers who are really, really, really bad at flirting. Like, a lot of people tease as a way to flirt, but some people don’t know how to do it in a way that is actually cute. I think it’s a mix bag. I think they probably perceived you as a little nerdy, but in a cute way and were really awkwardly trying to engage with you.

    It’s okay if you didn’t enjoy that, but I don’t get the sense they were trying to harm you.

16. I think that one of them likes you

17. The easiest approach I find is to engage people as if they’re being sincere. Because even if they’re fucking w you, it won’t be a big deal. It’ll just have been a friendly chat. I like to make conversation with women a little flirty so it’s more fun for everyone. Plus it’s good practice.

18. They were messing with you, because they are insecure and mean spirited. I always said something nasty back to them and they’d look so offended lol. Narcs are fragile. Remember that.

19. Ok, something that people who have been hurt a lot do is that they are suspicious of everyone who acts even slightly friendly. It’s a way of protecting yourself, but it also is a way of driving genuine people away. I try to take the conversation as just that. A conversation, who cares if they want to be my friend long term, or even know who I am. Treat this one conversation like I might if I never thought I’d see these people again. Ask questions, respond, keep the conversation light.

    I’m telling you this from a lot of experience. I don’t trust strangers anymore than I ever did, but I’m willing to engage in this single conversation without any expectations for the future.

    You spent so much time trying to figure out where it was going you never spent any time on what was happening in the moment.

    If someone goes from not showing any interest in you at all to acting like your best friend, or saying they want to be a girlfriend or whatever is when you need to be cautious. If they said, do you want to date, you can say, I don’t know about that, but you know where I’ll be during lunch tomorrow. If they say we’re best friends, right? Respond that you don’t call people you’ve been talking to for 5 minutes your best friend, but you know where I’ll be during lunch tomorrow if you want to get to know me better.

    It keeps interactions in public, it puts the onus on them if they are genuine. But don’t put your hopes on the potential, don’t try to predict the future, never assume motivations. The best success you will have in social interactions is to concentrate on what is happening right now.

20. Regardless if they’re toying with you, or not… be kinder to yourself, brother. The way you talk about yourself in your inner monologue is really disheartening. I know what it’s like to have self-esteem issues and it’s something I too struggle with to this very day, but catching it in the moment or even after it is very useful and helpful. You’re not a loser, man, you just think that others think that you’re a loser. And even if people did think you were a loser, so what? You did the right thing by not being a fool, but I would definitely suggest being a little more open with people, maybe ask them if they’re being for real with you or not. 🙂