If a girl was reaching out to ask you out, would you rather her wording be 1.) do you want to go out on a date? 2.) would you like to hang out? Or 3.) would you like to chill?
Not the exact sentences but same keywords.

34 comments

  2. All depends on if the guy is into her to begin with. If he is, wording doesn’t matter.

    -Dave

  3. I’d rather she asked me to come over and help her hang some shelves in her apartment and let me decide if it’s something I wanted to pursue. I know all this stuff is like a mouse chasing a mousetrap anyway – but I’d like the illusion of the chase at least. It just feels more natural to me that way.

  4. It doesn’t really matter to me, because it will depend on how I see her.
    But as a general rule, you don’t want to be on either end of the spectrum – not too casual, not too invested. “Hey do you want to grab a cup of coffee sometimes?” sounds good to me.

  5. Option 1. Guys are fucking idiots (source: I am one). If you don’t say it’s a date, they’re going to be confused and wondering if it’s a date.

    I had a girl ask me out long ago and smooth AF. It went kind of like this…

    Her: What’s your favorite kind of food?

    Me: I’m a big fan of seafood.

    Her: Ever been to Steve’s Seafood Shanty?

    Me: Never heard of it.

    Her: Well, now I know where to take you for our date this Saturday. Wanna pick me up at 6 PM?

    Married almost 25 years now.

  7. Hate to break it to you, but most men get almost no attention from the opposite sex, certainly no compliments. Anything would be just amazing if he’s interested in you.

  9. Definitely option 1. As a guy, let me tell you, we do not pick up on subtlety very well. If a girl asks me to hang out, I’m probably not going to think she meant it as a date.

  10. I’d say it would depend on who the person is anyway could work when you ending leading him to realize your feelings but yeah I agree with the dude most of us have big Monke Brain

  13. hmmm…. if it was the first time I am being with her, I would pick option #2, I want to know the girl a bit first and see if we are compatible

    but If we knew each other for long enough and we both had romantic feelings for each other, I would consider option #1

    option #3 seems to have a sexual undertone to the meetup, and I would only consider it the both of us were in the mood for it and I knew her well enough as well as her knowing enough of me

    as a guy who has never dated, or had a girlfriend before, my default is option #2

  14. This is true… I’m a man myself and I prefer stuff to be clear to bone. So option 1.

    The rest of the options kinda vague and we can’t tell if you are romantically approaching me or not.

  15. Kindof glad you are asking about this. Every guy is a little different, but here’s a short version:

    Option 1) makes it clear you are interested in dating them and have (likely) a romantic interest in them. Option 2) “Hang out” phrase generally just means only that, more like friends or friendly acquaintances, though you can still later check (preferably sooner than later,) about clarifying that it’s that you’d like to date them but something maybe a little more casual, and doing something fun maybe, but could end up as a date if the feeling is mutual. Option 3) is pretty similar to the second one, but it also implies that what you two do is literally just have a calm, relaxing time hanging out. Though, the guy might be a little more likely register that it’s one way or another for options 2, and 3 if it’s a date or not is if what you two are doing something or going some place that’s basically a place you would only go to as a date (a nicer resturant, an art museum, [depending where you go] a picnic.)

    I hope that’s usable enough, and again, not every guy will know exactly what you mean because not every guy that gets asked will have interest back at you, maybe not romatically, rather, platonic interest. Guys and girls can be just friends and that’s that on occasion.

  16. Option 1 if you want to be direct, option 2 would be fine if it was clear the 2 people are attracted to one another, 3 is the most ambiguous, it could mean hang out but it could also mean in some contexts to do more….. that being said be bold and be true to yourself and your feelings, use date

  17. Option 1 for sure as it’s the most direct and leaves no room for vagueness. Option 2 may make the guy wonder if it’s a date or you two are just hanging ou as friends, and option 3 may make the guy think it’s solely for sex.

  18. Agree with statements above. Men are simple creatures. Be specific. If you’re gonna ask him out say “I wanna take you out on a date. Meet me XYZ place as this time” and be blatantly obvious. Cause otherwise if you just go “hey do you wanna hang out some time?” & you are friends already he’s gonna probably assume you just wanna hang out. And be unprepared mentally for anything beyond that. Ask me how I know 🤣😂🤦‍♂️

  19. Number 1. Guys are dumb and dense. Don’t assume otherwise.
    I appreciate a good kick in the butt sometimes. It gets me focused

  21. Definitely option 1, it’s way more straightforward and use confusing. Option 2, can be confusing cause the guy might not know what she means. And option 3, if you are just trying to hookup with the guy. Option 1 is best though.

  22. If her intentions are to date me, definitely 1. When my ex confessed her feelings to me over MSN Messenger, she asked if there was sexual tension between us earlier that night when we hung out, and I got all nervous like Tina Belcher and was still oblivious. And she had a panic attack. When I asked her to elaborate, she straight up said she liked me as more than a friend and then boom. So being straight up will get you your answer. Option 1 is especially important if he’s autistic or if you think he may be.

    Also because in the past, I have mistaken friendliness for interest. And as a precaution nowadays, I’m more likely to mistake interest for friendliness.

  23. We’re like one chromosome smarter than cave men. You gotta spell it out. “I like you, let’s go on a date”.

  24. How about, “Are you free on …etc.? I’d like to take you out for a drink, see a movie, or whatever…”

    I’ve never been a fan of the words “hang out”. It sounds like something teenagers say.

    It’s often intended to be *ambiguous* so if the person rejects them, they can *pretend* like they weren’t romantically interested or calling it a date. Secondly, if things do go well, you can’t be certain if the other person thought it was a *platonic invite* or if they *like you*.

    “This weekend a band is playing in the park. A group of us are going to set up a picnic spot with some food and wine. If you’re not busy you’re welcome to come *hang out*.”

    What is the other person supposed to think? Do they “like me”? or is this a *platonic* invite?

    Being *ambiguous* might increase one’s odds of getting a “yes” but it could cause confusion too.

    One person calls their time together *dates* and the other believes they’ve just “hung out”.

    This type of cat and mouse game or *misunderstanding* could go on for weeks or months!

    The biggest difference between “hanging out” and *a date* is a date has *romantic* intentions.

    A real date usually entails some playful flirtatious banter, compliments, possible sexual innuendo, favorite this/that, things you look for in a mate, incidental touching while talking and laughing, hand holding while walking, lingering eye contact, sly smiles, a hug and kiss goodbye…

    I would rather get rejected *early on* than to find myself stuck in the *friendzone!*

    ***”Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.”*** – Steve Maraboli

    ***“Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.”*** ― Paulo Coelho

    ***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud

    Best wishes!

  25. I’m definitely more of an option 2 guy. This way we get to know each other first before getting to the actual date. It doesn’t hurt to take things slow. Some girls like that actually.

  26. Be explicit and use the word “date” or state your attraction to the person. It’s been the same experience as a guy for me; no use faffing around going out as friends or on an actual date. I think it is really good to state your intentions from the beginning. You don’t want to be led on either (happened to me far too many times)

    All the best and go for it!

  27. First one. I like clarity and honesty. I don’t want to go out with a girl and not really knowing what this is. If a girl told me she wants to hang out or chill I would assume this is just a hang out or chill not a date because we are not used to women asking us out.

  28. 1 definitely 1 be loud and clear with us. We overthink and would assume its just a platonic hangout if worded any other way

  29. Depends on your personality and how comfortable you are with any of those options

  30. if you want to date, then date. no riddles. the other two are too mysterious. don’t use chill or hang out if you wanna date.

  33. BAD: Hey, do you want to hang out? (vague, unspecific, boring)

    OKAY: Hey, do you want to go to a café and have a piece of cake this Saturday? (specific)

    GOOD: Hey, you said you liked cake, right? I know where we can the best carrot cake in town. How about Saturday, 2 pm? (specific, exciting, mysterious)

    This is what I would tell a guy, because I believe that men need to take the lead. That includes suggesting an activity/location and a time. Don’t put that burden on the girl, make it as easy as possible for her. And make it sound exciting.

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