So to the other day we had sex and the condom broke. He was, understandably, freaking out, but since I haven’t had a natural menstrual cycle in like over 5 years and I’m taking birth control, I wasn’t as worried (I know it’s still possible though). But when I told him I was on birth control and that it prevents pregnancy he acted like I was an idiot for some reason, he was like ‘do you even know what that means that doesn’t prevent it’ and I was like ‘ok sorry I thought it was supposed to’. He actually kind of acted like this the entire time, like I had no idea what my body was doing. I was like, I could buy a kit to test it in a few days and he was like ‘no it wouldn’t even show for months. How much do you even know about this?’ And then he immediately went over and got some plan B for me to take, which I did. I tried to thank him for getting it and hug him but he kind of brushed me off and just quickly left. I know it was stressful and think he handled it maturely overall (I’m definitely glad he was concerned lol) but I just don’t know it’s been awkward since then, he still seems really tense about it. Any advice/ anyone had a similar experience before?
TLDR: boyfriend very shaken up, don’t know how to make him feel better
12 comments
He has no idea about contraception or pregnancy. You know how your contraceptive works, a pregnancy does not take months to show (seriously where is he getting this information). And don’t get pressured into taking plan b when you’re on contraception too, it’ll just mess up your bodies reactions more
Clearly HE is the one who has no idea how contraception works or how birth control works, or how pregnancy tests work for that matter. Do not ever apologize to someone when you know you’re right and when you’re the one who’s talked to your doctor and was prescribed birth control in the first place. I imagine he just panicked, but he didn’t handle it maturely at all. He handled it as if you’d done something to him. That said, if staying together, talk to him. Tell him you want to talk about what happened and how you two want to proceed forward. Explain to him that you’re talking birth control which of course isn’t 100%, but also that condoms aren’t and that you think you’re both taking the most precautions available outside of simply not having sex. Sit at a computer together and research the way pregnancy tests work so you know and the way plan B works as well. He’s tense because he’s scared and that’s understandable, but he also has misinformation and is taking out that confusion on you which isn’t fair at all.
Why do you want to make him feel better he treated you like an idiot, when you clearly understand pregnancy test, pregnancy risk and birth control.
He treated you like a piece of shit when their was even an extremely miniscule chance you could possibly get pregnant from the condom break.
Personally with the way he is treating you I think you need to really take a strong look if this is a man you should even be having sex with.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. Send him the planned parenthood website and say “educate yourself on pregnancy and contraception or don’t talk to me about it”.
Can he really have this much of a lack of knowledge yet he’s still having sex?! He needs to do some education.
When someone blames you and you well know that you did nothing wrong then you should question the relationship.
You’re dating an idiot who doesn’t understand your reproductive health at all. You need to be straight with him that he’s wrong and maybe the next date night should be a health class video. Plan B is important and useful, but it’s not candy. It’s wrong of him to insist you take it and mess with your hormones and he clearly has no idea what pregnancy is like.
If he’s going to pretend to know your body better than you then you have to decide if that’s the power dynamic you’re ok living with
Lord you two are kind of a mess but him moreso.
It’s true that hormonal oral birth control is one of the least reliable ways to prevent pregnancy, but it DOES severely reduce your risk of it. He’s also waaaaay off that a test wouldn’t show for months. It was a good idea to take plan B if you two were super scared a pregnancy might result, but I disagree with your judgement that he handled this maturely.
I’d recommend giving this a few more days to blow over, then sit down together and actually research the risks and benefits of each thing you two talked about, so you’re both more informed in the future.
I think he sounds immature. If he could have gotten you pregnant, he should be by your side comforting you. It’s your body. He shouldn’t be making it all about himself.
A man that thinks he knows more than you about sex and birth control is not really mature.
The good news is that he isn’t ready or willing to be a father. But I’d offer him information about birth control and how it really works to see if I think he is boyfriend material based on his reaction.
Idk if I were you, I would tell him no sex until he reads a health textbook, OR I would end it because he is way too stupid and arrogant about that which he is ignorant on to be the father of an accidental pregnancy baby.
just dump him. that kind of arrogance and false knowledge is going to show up in other places.
Get the day after pill for the next time the condom breaks. He obviously does not want to get you pregnant. It scares the crap out of him because he knows that is game over for him. You think it unlikely because it’s never happened before. Until one day that is does. You two need to discuss what will happen IF everything fails. That is the mature thing to do. Regardless of what others may tell you birth control pills are not 100% effective. My wife and I have a daughter to prove that. Have that discussion.