My wife and I went through a rough patch about a year ago. She had built up an emotional wall for a few years and it finally got to a point where things weren’t great at all. She agreed to go to couple’s therapy and things have honestly gotten better, but it’s still not 100% both in terms of emotional availability or intimacy.
We’re best friends, do everything together, raise kids together, etc. It’s just that we aren’t “there” yet. She says she is going to start individual therapy here soon to try and see if she can tear down this “emotional wall” she’s built up.
She doesn’t want to give up on the marriage, but is just having difficulty getting back to how things were. It’s been a year now and she sometimes says to be patient with her. But it’s hard for me after a year.
Simple question (but not necessarily a simple answer, I know): can these “walls” be torn down? If both partners are open to fixing/improving the marriage, how long might it take? I say I can wait for her forever, but as selfish as it sounds, I have emotional/physical needs also.
1 comment
Depends on the reason she built the wall. Did either of you cheat? Did you go behind her back and do something: bought a car, quit a job? If this came over time without any discernible cause then your marriage is over and no amount of therapy will change her towards you.