i just realized the root of my problems connecting with people is the significant lack of love in my life recently. i can be kind, but i don’t know if i can care. maybe i’m being blinded by my emotions right now, but it kind of makes sense.
reading through my old messages suggests that i was once filled with so much genuine love for all the people around me. but lately, i’ve just been sort of emotionally constipated and stiff when approached with any kind of love.
over the past year i’ve lost all the people that made up my biggest supports. now theyre all just people that i used to be close with or used to know. now i’m not necessarily alone, but i don’t really have anyone i feel close with.
when approached with love, i don’t know how to reciprocrate, i freeze up. and because of this I can’t really take the next step in building close relationships with people. all the people in my life are just people that i know and i don’t know how to change that. I don’t know how to feel that love or care.
i really don’t know how to interact with people most of the time. i want to build the love in my life back up, but i don’t know where to start.