Here’s the condensed version of my situation: Just landed sweet career job in my home town. Glad to be close with family, but being single this raises a few concerns.
*Town only has about 8 thousand people.
*About 2 and a half hours drive to the closest city.
*Don’t know anyone anymore from high school that still lives here.
*Hick town. I like the smiths etc.
How do I traverse this dating pool? Do I? Should I schedule trips into the city to scout mates lol? Half serious.
Any and all advice welcome.
7 comments
Small town life is hard. Either they’re hooked on meth or look like the result of inbreeding.
Tough one, give it a chance, look at dating apps? Maybe scout your town hashtag on social media and try find some people to send a message saying you’ve just moved back to the town and looking for buddies
Join some clubs or teams, do some activities, helps meet more people, never know you could make a friend who knows your future partner haha ..
If all else fails, get a new job in a city
Move to city. Or use dating apps
Demographics and population size are important. Is it a population that is older and married. Is it a population with aa similar education and interests. Are there activities for singles. I made a similar move and its like Im in a ghost town.
Now this could be in part because of the change inn way society change during covid. With less interactive. But even online dating apps are mostly scammers these days, so they arent much help.
You might find all your old friends went on to have families and dont have time for you either. Its iimbedded in us that we should return home for family especially if tgey are getting up in years. But we have to balance that with a desire for own own lives.
It comes down to- you cant have it all. Whatever you chose youll give up something.
Hope it works out for you.
I mean this in the absolute best possible way—the phrase “I like the smiths etc” marks you unmistakably as a counterculture kid (now in your… 40s?) who grew up in a small hick town. That’s great! It’s an instantly recognizable backstory implying strong emotions (critical thinking, a longing for something more than what’s in front of you) that resonate with anyone who grew up the same way. And even people that didn’t! I grew up in Manhattan and I’m already rooting for you.
I wouldn’t give up on dating locally, since 2 hrs is a long commute for a relationship. See if you can find the other indie kids in your home and nearby towns, now that you’ve all grown up.
I could never go back to small town life for this very reason. Dating was near impossible for me. Whenever I downloaded dating apps it was the same small group of guys within a drivable distance every time. And to be blunt they were NOT types I would go for. Seemingly low intelligence based on their profiles and opposite of my political beliefs etc. It was the longest two years of my life living in a rural/small town. Got out of there and never looked back. I’ve now had the opposite struggle where it’s hard to find a guy that truly wants to commit because of all the options in this city, but luckily I finally found the one for me after a little over a year.
My only advice is to be ready to have to drive a ways to date. When I lived in a small town I eventually just started driving an hour to the nearest mid size city to date guys, which was exhausting and obviously my time with them was limited to the weekends which just made it more difficult. But it may be the best option for you in terms of finding a match
You do both until you figure it out. Maybe you realize small town prospects suck and so does long distance, maybe you meet someone and move for them, who knows! Why would you not try all paths?