I’m Having A Really Hard Time

I (31m) have been struggling. The past year has been hard for me on multiple fronts. I’ve lost my grandparents, I’m trying to change jobs, and meeting women, especially through OLD, has been horrible.

In the past 3 months alone, I have been sexually assaulted, have several times have had a woman show *intense* or excessive interest only to ghost me after a few weeks, breadcrumbed, and there was one who, after two months of dating, went from inviting me to a concert one day, to the next day telling me she’s not able to date anyone, to seeing her on Bumble with new pics a few days later.

Just a few days ago I went on a third date with a woman who told me she was serious, who bemoaned online dating and ghosting, who kept telling me how much she liked me and was excited to see me again and again, who would send me paragraphs of text just to talk, who I picked out a special place to take her to based on things she told me she liked, but who after a date with laughs and fun swapping stories has now apparently ghosted me.

It’s too much, it’s like a constant barrage on my emotions. I’m 31, I wanted to have a family. Yesterday I was at my sister‘s when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror holding my infant niece and wanted to break down, truly feeling that I am not going to end up finding love or having a family of my own. I really don’t think it’ll happen.

Sorry for the rant and the burner account. I needed to vent and I really just need someone to hear me even if it’s strangers on the internet. I’m honestly feeling sick to my stomach. I just wanted to find love and I’m starting to believe that I’m incapable of being loved and that nobody will ever try.