I understand some people are insecure about it, but some don’t mind talking about it.

22 comments

  1. As a glasses wearer, I don’t think it’s bad etiquette for someone to ask about my glasses (depending on the comment). If someone said they like my glasses, asked what my prescription is, how long I’ve had them, if I always wear them, etc that would be fine. But, unless you’re close to the person, I wouldn’t say anything that could be seen as insulting such as saying they would look better with a different style of glasses or anything. Other people may completely disagree with me, but I imagine most people who wear glasses would feel the same as I do.

  2. Context matters.

    Totally fine, usually appreciated- “Hey, nice glasses! Where’d you get those from?”

    Unacceptable- “Holy shit get a load of this blind bat. Where’d you get those goggles from?”

  3. One way to feel people out about their willingness to talk about something like this is to start with a compliment:

    “I love those frames!”

    “Those frames look great on you!”

    “Those glasses look fantastic. Mind telling me where you got them?”

    A surprising amount of people are happy to give more details. They might volunteer a ton of information you didn’t even ask for, or offer for you to try on their glasses. If they seem happy to talk about it and pleased with the compliment, it’s generally safe to ask questions.

    Some people are very tired of hearing stuff like, “Woooow. Those lens are THICK. You must be SO blind!” Or, “Can I try those on? Whoooaaa, you can’t see, huh?” Others will joke about it apropos of nothing. Just be respectful and mindful of any commentary they’ve likely heard dozens of times before.

  6. Talking from experience: The only thing I hated back when I had glasses is that people discussed them like edit: *merely* a fashion choice. That, to me, is a real faux pas. They are still primarily a medical device, don’t make stupid uninformed remarks if you don’t know the background of why someone is wearing them. Just friendly asking about them, being curious, or chatting is totally fine.

    “You should get lighter frames” for instance. The reason why my frames were chunky is because I had a large difference in prescription on both eyes so both lenses had a different weight. So if I would have used very light frames, that would mean that the glasses would be significantly heavier on one side. So I needed frames with a certain weight.

    Back when “slim” glasses were fashionable (with slim, I mean the height of a lens – so those glasses looked a bit like reading glasses – that was 10-20 years ago I think), I was also pissed about getting this recommendation. I want the lenses I see through to be tall because, dumbass, I need them to see and *cover my visual field*. That’s a bit more important that your “fashion trend”.

    “Get some contacts” “Get laser” Like seriously, really, *fuck* off with that one. Not everyone wants contacts, some find them uncomfortable, contacts can cause eye problems, and I simply couldn’t use them because my eyeballs had the wrong shape. Laser might be the right choice for some, but it depends on whether your eyes are suited, and even then, it’s still not without risk. You need a 2-4 hour specialized eye exam to determine whether your eyes are even suited at all!! – sooo “my cousin had it and she was fine” – cool stoy but irrelevant for another person.

    ASKING about contacts or laser is FINE!, giving “advice” is not unless you are (regarding laser) *literally an eye doctor specialized in refractive surgery and have the eye exam results in front of you*. (By the way I did have laser.)

    Anyway. I kinda went on a diatribe here lol but I can assure you 99% of conversations regarding my glasses were totally fine with me because people were polite (or listened when I told them in a friendly way why I didn’t want advice).

  7. To echo other comments, generally it’s fine. People say nice things about my glasses a lot. It’s in the same vein as being complimented on a shirt or jewelry. Just don’t ask something stupid like how long have you needed glasses, how blind are you, can I try them on, etc. Asking where they got the frames from is totally fine.

  8. depends on what you mean by “asking about glasses”. I don’t enjoy having to explain all the reasons why I wear glasses instead of using other alternatives, or discussing exactly how terrible my eyesight is.

  9. Got some people holding up their fingers asking how many like I’m not blind blind….

  10. When I was a glasses wearer, I felt like some of the comments were annoyingly repetitive, and overly concerned about whether I was wearing my glasses or not. This one dude would either have to ask me where my glasses are or point out that I was wearing them. There was nothing I could do to escape comment about it. I was on the verge of telling him that they come on and off my face and he just needs to accept that. There’s nothing really shocking about it, is there? I don’t have to have surgery to take them off. It’s just a minor movement of my hand, and then they are in my pocket.

    I didn’t enjoy much of the chatter about my glasses. I’d skip it.

  11. It really depends tbh. Like, is it a conversation starter? Because I’d be weirded out a bit if someone came up to me and asked about me glasses. But if we’re just talking and they just happen to bring it up casually in conversation, it would be fine with me

  13. I wear glasses and I wouldn’t be bothered if someone asked me about them. Of course that doesn’t mean every glasses wearer is the same but I’ve never had an issue with it.

  14. If you asked me why I where glasses I’d just think you were weird. Most people know that it’s because your eyes don’t work right, but if you told me that my glasses are cute that’s fine. Personally I’d find it weird if you asked me where I got them from unless you were telling me you were thinking about getting new ones yourself.

  15. totally fine. just don’t reach for them to try them on. ask and expect a no from the wearer.

  16. I don’t mind questions about glasses. Like, how long long have you been wearing them? Where did you get them? Are they comfortable etc….

    DON’T exclaim, “Woah how blind are you”?
    DON’T pull them off my face and place them on your face to see how strong they are. And especially DON’T make that silly “dork” face after rudely pulling them off my face.
    DON’T ask me to take them off and ask “How many fingers am I holding up”?
    And DON’T try to tell me not to wear them (ex: Oh, you would look better with contacts. Take your glasses off so I can see your face. It’s a shame you have to wear those, you have such pretty eyes.”

    And yes. These are actual comments and experiences I’ve had. As an adult. This decade.

  17. Don’t ask to try them on. Glasses are actual medical devices for some people.

    This reminds me of elementary school when kids would constantly ask to try my glasses on, then freak out and yank them away from their face due to how strong my prescription was and stared at me like I’m nuts, wondering how I could see out of them. This behavior could be chalked up to the fact that we were kids, but I wouldn’t be surprised if adults have that kind of obnoxious reaction to glasses-wearers too.

    Also, if they are exceptionally thick, maybe don’t point that out as if the person wearing them doesn’t already know. Lol.

  18. Can I ask what pinged the thought that it’s inappropriate?

    To me, it’s fine. In fact, I like the idea of people asking questions about glasses, because we forget they’re a medical aid for disability!

    I never mind sharing, I *do* mind people asking to try my glasses, and my favorite thing is showing people just how shit my vision is by holding my hand at seeing-distance.

    Also, just gotta say, the funniest thing about being blind is forgetting where you put your glasses the night before. Went on a work trip and had to call in a coworker to help me find them. (Pro tip to the glasses wearers in this situation: Use your phone camera to see around the room!)

  19. Look at it like this: would it bother you if someone asked you about your glasses? If yes don’t ask. If no ask. If they are insecure about it they can tell you they don’t feel comfortable talking about them, and you both move on.

  20. Maybe children and teens may dislike the attention, but I guess most adults dont give a shit about it anymore.

  22. I wore glasses for most of my life and never understood the insecurity around them. They’re very normal? Anyway – just don’t touch someone’s glasses. That’s all that is offensive from my perspective.

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