I (22M) and my GF (23F) have been going through some issues. Recently she came to me and asked me if I had been lying to her about things. Truth is yes, I have lied about my nicotine addiction for some time now. Understanding this is wrong I confessed everything and told her there is no way to atone for this action. She ran away and we did not talk till the next day. She then calls me and instantly starts saying how “im full of shit” and how she thinks I am a “psychopath and need psychiatric help”. Went on for about an hour of how terrible I am and how I use everyone in my life and am not even a human being. After the conversation she texts me to come over, I instantly go over there to face what I did wrong and expect her to breakup with me. She then hugs me, sits me down and tells me how we can work through this and she can’t picture life without me. She then starts making out with me then wanting to take things to the bedroom.
I understand that I sincereley messed up, and that what I did is pretty “toxic”. But for some reason I cannot get over the name calling and the fact she broke me down as far as she could as a human being and then treated me like I was the best thing to ever happen to her.
We’ve had issues of codependency, her never wanting to leave the house or let me have time to myself. I know for a fact I am not 100% happy in this relationship but I do not have the balls to breakup with her. If I ever breakup with her, I know it will end in name calling, excessive yelling and me feeling like a piece of shit.
What should I do? Cherish the fact she forgave me so quickly or be skeptical of it?
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TLDR: Girlfriend is mad I lied to her, breaks me down as a human being, then wants to take things to the bedroom. Am I toxic or is she toxic?
4 comments
Toxic is an interaction, it’s not one or the other. But her behavior is abusive and your willingness to accept it is. *”there is no way to atone for this action.”* This is drama queen idiocy. You’re trauma bonded but this relationship is shit and you’re at greater risk by staying in it than she is.
You can break up with her and deal w/her reaction briefly, or you can stay with her and live with it as your 24/7. Not acting because you’re afraid of the response is a trash excuse. Break up w/her via text and then ghost her.
Regardless of whether you hid things or not, there’s never any reason to talk to someone the way she talked to you. At least not in this situation. Absolutely not. And then to do a complete 180 and act like everything is going to be okay?? Nah, that’s manipulation at its finest. Definitely should leave especially if you’re only staying because you don’t want to face more of the name calling and abuse. Get out. Otherwise it’s just going to get harder for you to leave the longer you stay. Good luck to you with it all.
Toxic relationship. Don’t blame.. just end it. You’re codependent and you’re terrible with each other.
>I cannot get over the name calling and the fact she broke me down as far as she could as a human being and then treated me like I was the best thing to ever happen to her.
And it’ll just keep happening. She seems to think she has authority over you. Never a good sign.
>If I ever breakup with her, I know it will end in name calling, excessive yelling and me feeling like a piece of shit.
Yeah, and? That will last a day, maybe two days tops.
Rip the band-aid off and find yourself a non-psycho.