35M, I’m looking for advice on how much is too much, when it comes to texting and messaging? For example, I’m not talking about how often responses are, but the actual size of the message.
I’ve met a few women in the last couple months, and while I’ve always been interactive, it just seems like I just keep getting ghosted. I try to be as clear, concise, and detailed as possible, I try to ask enough questions to stimulate the conversation, and ask about themselves. But it seems as responsive the other person may be, conversations just stop. I don’t know if it’s me, or maybe it’s the business of life, but I’m a little baffled, and I’m wondering if it’s just me.
I’m just wondering, is providing too much detail a bad thing? Does it mean I’m being overwhelming? If I don’t get a response, I’m polite and patient to wait it out, so I don’t text/message back repeatedly. I understand we live in a fast paced society, where it can take a long time to respond at times.
I kind of call it the ‘avalanche of information’ when getting to know someone. I find that messages get longer, and longer, until it’s overwhelming to respond, because I personally find it’s going to take a decent amount of time, I want to be articulate, and so forth.
I always try to make conversations as little awkward as possible when meeting people, so I have a tendency to over talk/type sometimes, as to make show that I’m easy to converse/message with. I know this doesn’t always work, but you have to try somewhere.
TLDR; How much information in a text/messaging post is too much to handle when talking with new people? How long do you wait before you accept when you’ve been ghosted?
3 comments
It’s always a fine line if you ask me. If you’re ‘meeting’ people in your locality I think it’s best to try and meet in person as soon as is reasonable, for a couple of reasons:
A) it is entirely possible to have enough chemistry via text, call, etc but for things to be very different in person
And
2) if you’re messaging back and forth and you tell them *everything*, what’s left to talk about when you do finally meet up?
It’s possible that your problem is down to the amount of choice out there. If you’re messaging one person at a time it’s not as easy to forget to reply as it would be if you were juggling multiple conversations and multiple potential dates. And the trend definitely seems to be having multiple people ‘on the go’ at any one time these days…
In the beginning, you should only be texting to arrange a time to meet in person. Once you have plans made, you just say “ok, see you then!” And do the rest of your conversing in person. Text messaging too much info or asking too many questions will turn anyone off very quickly.
In my opinion you cannot find universal answer to this question. Sometimes chat will die and that’s ok. There will be a time where it won’t and most likely there will be no more first chats after that 😉