Where I’m from, saying things like “good morning” and “good evening” is very commonplace even with strangers. Not saying it to co workers and other acquaintances can sometimes be considered rude.

I didnt realize how ingrained it was in me, until I went to Italy and had people walk right by me.

Wouldn it be weird/rude in your area to not engage in those bs formal greetings?

46 comments
  1. I’ve heard this from coworkers who made a recent trip to Europe (Belgium/France). They felt the waiters were rude and not engaging in, as you say “bs formal greetings”, and people didn’t really engage with strangers. That seems to be the culture in Europe regardless of the country. They don’t do as much small talk as Americans.

  2. Depends. It would be a little weird to not greet your boss and colleagues when you arrive at the office, although depending on the situation it could just be “hey.” Generally when you enter a place of business, there will be an employee who will say “good morning” or whatever, but even that isn’t totally universal.

    It is not weird for random people you pass on the street to avoid engaging in any kind of “bs formal greetings.” It’s not weird for random people on the street to ignore you entirely. I suppose there may be some regional variations here but I don’t know how big they are.

  3. If I had to greet every person I passed in a given day I would never get where I was going. And I live in the suburbs of NYC. In the city or cities of North Jersey proper it would quite literally be impossible.

  4. I don’t think it’s rude not to greet strangers, though sometimes it’s a nice thing to do. Not greeting a colleague who works near you or an acquaintance you see in public might be depending on the circumstances.

  5. Nope.
    In the Northeast, most people will ignore strangers.
    In offices- it depends, if I know who you are, it’s usually just a head nod in passing or a semi- smile. A “Hey” to start a conversation.
    I don’t know you but we make eye contact- semi smile.
    That’s about it.

  6. I might smile, nod, or even say hello to a few but it’d get old quick when there are dozens or hundreds of people around

  7. Usually its just ” Mornin’ ” or “Good-N’You.”

    Hardly formal, but still polite.

  8. Where I live, you’d be considered somewhat of a psychopath if you greeted every stranger you passed on the sidewalk.

  9. I walk around my neighborhood in the mornings and say hello or nod to pretty much everyone I cross paths with (unless they look like they have a hot poker stuck up their @$$). But admittedly, that might only be five or six people over 1.5 hours. Almost all of them respond with some even beating me to the greeting.

    Before I retired, it was common for people to greet whomever they came across on their way to their workstation.

  10. It’s contextual.

    If I walk into a bank, I’m going to exchange basic pleasantries with the teller. If the UPS guy is dropping off a package, he gets a hearty greeting. At work, I’d certainly give at least a nod or smile to everyone the first time I see them that day, you can generally judge how busy someone is or know them well enough to gauge the greeting that you’d make with them. Some people get a hug, some people get a nod.

    But if I’m walking down the street I’m not greeting every passerby and I don’t greet everyone walking the opposite direction in the grocery aisle.

  11. It really depends on the context. In some, it is considered rude. In others, it’s not.

  12. If you’re in a small town, yeah, maybe people are going to greet nearly everybody they pass? In a city? Not even close.

    But if you go get a coffee, you basically have to do a little bit of small talk, you can’t just step up and order. That would be…if not rude, really, really weird.

  13. >Wouldn it be weird/rude in your area to not engage in those bs formal greetings?

    I tend to not say anything to anyone unless they say something first, amd I still try to end that “conversation” as quickly as possible.

    That includes coworkers. We have nothing in common. I have nothing to say to you that isn’t specifically work related.

  14. It really depends. In cities you cannot great everyone you pass because you will be passing dozens at once. And most don’t want to be greeted anyways.

    In smaller suburbs I kind of try to read the person. I usually smile and sometimes will say hello or good morning. Older people especially seem to enjoy being greeted.

  15. For like a co-worker, friend, or acquaintance not greeting the person would be rude. But with some rando on the street, it would not be seen as rude. My county has more people than many states have in them, it’s not reasonable to greet every single person when we have so many people.

  16. I’ve been to several parts of the country where people genuinely enjoy friendly engagements with strangers.

    That shit is not welcome here.

  17. Depends on the number of people around. If I’m walking my dog around my house, there are usually very few people around. I might see someone else walking their dog and then I smile and nod. If they say hi to me, I’ll say it back but I’m not usually the one to initiate.

    If I’m walking around the downtown area of my small city, no, I do not acknowledge everyone I see because it would get exhausting very quickly.

    Of course if I see someone I actually *know* (which is completely plausible because my town isn’t that big), I’ll stop and say hi and exchange greetings.

  18. If I see someone I know well, I might acknowledge their presence with a head nod and a grunt. Strangers I won’t even make eye contact.

  19. Most people don’t care. From what I’ve seen we usually greet each other with grunts and/or nods of acknowledgement.

  20. I like the, i think Finnish (?) model where you greet people once per day. So the first time you see a coworker you say “good morning” and then you’re free to walk right past them for the entire rest of the day unless you actually have something to talk about.

  21. Smile or upward head nod if eye contact is made. Hello/good morning/pleasantry if holding door or somehow engaged.

    I live where people are more likely to do these things than not, but I don’t judge anyone who doesn’t.

    But, I also find telling everyone you see in the morning “good morning” and expecting it in return is aggressive and often annoying (if there are many people around and you’re expecting it from everyone. I’ve worked in settings where this was the culture and disliked it very much.)

  22. In less dense areas, you usually acknowledge the people you see and pass. This doesn’t have to be a formal “good evening” or whatever, in fact, being overly formal would be weird. It’s usually just a simple “hey” or even just a nod

  23. In the suburban/rural South, it’s very common to greet people but it doesn’t have to be a formal greeting. You’ll hear a quick, “Hey/Hi,” or, “How’s it going?” or, “Mornin’,” just as often as, “Good morning/afternoon.” It is considered somewhat rude not to at least look at the other person and give a small smile, nod, or wave to acknowledge their presence.

    If you try this in other parts of the country, however, you’ll be looked at like a lunatic. I swear my mom gave several joggers heart attacks when we were walking around Golden Gate park in San Francisco. My brother and I had to make her stop and explain that people don’t do that there.

    Not greeting coworkers, acquaintances, etc. in some manner is definitely considered rude. However, formal greetings are not necessary. In general, the US is a very informal country when it comes to our language. At most, “formal language” here means not cursing or using slang.

  24. Total strangers walking by, I probably will smile at them but not say anything.

    With people I know, I will usually say hello/hi if I’m walking by but nothing more. I’ll wave if we’re further away.

    For people I’m going to occupy a space with for a period of time (coworkers, going to the bank or small store, etc) it’s “Hi, how are you?”

    My partner is Norwegian and whenever I visit I constantly feel like I’m being given the cold shoulder by everyone. It’s a very strange feeling.

  25. I’ll say “hey how’s it going” or something to coworkers or people I know but talking to every random stranger is crazy.

  26. Honestly depends on where you are. Here in Portland it’s pretty normal to greet anyone you pass, but that’s more of a nod or a “how’s it going” not a formal greeting. In New York it would be a bit more weird. I don’t think there’s anywhere in the country where people would ignore you though unless they’re a Dick.

    That being said, if you’re talking with someone it’s expected you greet them. You can’t go up to a counter in a store and just start asking for stuff without saying “hello” or “how are you?” or it’d be considered rude

  27. Any chance you’re from a small town, and you were visiting a large city on your trip?

    I grew up in a rural area, and it was very common for everyone to say hi to everyone else they passed. Often people will even wave when passing in their cars, if they’re driving slowly on residential streets.

    This doesn’t work in cities, anywhere in the world. There are just too many people. If you had to say “buon giorno” to every single human being you saw every day, that would be all you did. You’d lose your voice before lunch. Entire economies would collapse.

    I’ve lived in Italy, and if you’re in a small town, IIRC people are more likely to greet each other.

  28. People only greet you in Chicago if they know you, but in places like rural North Carolina, they’ll say good morning or good afternoon and wave from their cars even if they don’t know you, if they see you.

  29. Where do you live that you formally greet every stranger you pass? I haven’t even experienced that in the South

  30. I grew up in Southern California and it’s not really expected here to greet strangers you pass by while walking or entering a store

  31. Depends on eye contact. You make eye contact, you generally smile, nod, or offer a verbal greeting. My coworkers take it personally if I don’t say good morning to them.

  32. It is normal to greet people in passing in my small town area. You don’t have to give a formal greeting but saying good morning, hi, nodding, smiling or waving are normal things to do as you pass.

    I watched a video of people walking in a bigger city in another country and they were passing each other on a walking path. They did not even look at each other much less speak.

  33. This is where we separate ourselves from the Brits or Asians. You say hi or good morning or give a head nod at the bare minimum.

  34. I only greet people I have to interact with directly, and I try to make that number as low as possible on a day to say basis. I picked up the habit as a kid growing up in the NE USA, now I’m in the SE USA and smiling at and greeting people is done more freely. I don’t participate, though, because I don’t feel obligated to. Seems like a waste of energy to smile at/greet every stranger I walk past.

  35. The only formal greeting I know is “Awww, can I pet your dog?”

    Legally everyone in this state has to own a dog and you can’t go a single block without seeing someone walking a dog.

  36. Out here in the heart of merica where we grow the food and milk the cows and tend to the herds we eat, it is still common practice to give a little wave or a finger (not THE FINGER) or other gesture to passerby’s while driving 😅

    But there’s truly no reason to be driving out there on those highways unless you’re associated with or live there yourself..

    It’s a thing that is however fading over the years- common practice when I was young, but it may just seem less common because I only visit now and only occasionally meet another on the road

  37. I grew up out in the Missouri countryside and it was a reflex to wave to any car you passed going the other direction while driving.

  38. From reading all the comments, it seems to me it’s a location thing. In larger places, it happens less because if you did greet everyone, you walked passed you would never get anything done. But if you are in a more rural or suburban place and you are walking the dog in the morning, a quick nod or a ‘morning’ makes more sense. As you are seeing ppl less commonly. Plus, they are probably local, and in any rural areas, you kinda know everyone or at least know of them. So to not nod a greeting in this place seems to be a bit ruder. More rural, less neighbours, so you probably know most of them as there are only a few.

    I think it comes down to size of location, whether rural or largely populated.

  39. >I didnt realize how ingrained it was in me, until I went to Italy and had people walk right by me.

    Were you greeting people in Italian?

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