What’s the rudest/worst thing your grandmas done to you?

26 comments

1. I was in hospital with depression, and she said “well that isn’t from *my* side of the family”. Gee, thanks for your support.

2. She spent my entire childhood calling me fat, ugly, stupid, boring, my ears big, my hair gross etc., as well as comparing me to literally every single other kid in my family and asking why I couldn’t try being/looking/acting/dressing more like them. One event in particular when I was maybe 5, and she took me to the hairdresser and held crying, screaming me in the chair while they forcefully had my long hair thinned and cut off above the shoulders. Woo core memories!

   My mother and aunt was just like her and I *truly* wonder where they got it from.

3. When my mom was pregnant with me my grandma told her – a 36-year-old woman with two children from a previous marriage – that she should get an abortion because she was “too old” for a third kid, and my grandma didn’t like that my parents weren’t married.

   I don’t hold it against her, I’m sure she’s come around on me and my dad in the three decades since then, but it was a gut punch to hear that she had so little trust in her adult daughter.

4. Nothing. My grandmother was incredibly loving, supportive, and thoughtful. She was never rude to anyone for that matter. She had a knack of telling people how she felt but never in a mean way. I strive everyday to be more like her.

5. Gifted me popcorn that was expired in 1994.

6. Mine told me a guy gave me a nasty look at the gas station because I was sitting unlady like, my leg was up on the car seat resting. Then also told me I’m lazy like my mom. And purposely washed clothes in tide which I’m allergic too and she knows that.

7. Left me without getting to say goodbye, both of them

8. My mean grandma didn’t do anything bad to ME, but she was so overtly racist that I ended up crying in a restaurant bathroom during a family dinner when I was 18. After that, I cut her out of my life.

9. She told my dad that she “didn’t want it to be a coming out party” when I wanted to bring a girlfriend to christmas. Even though everyone else’s SOs were always welcome. We talked it out and moved past it long before she passed but it’s something I’ll never forget as she was really the only person to ever vocalize an issue with my sexuality.

10. Where do I start. Blame me for her daughter’s actions (she was my step grandma.) Never defended me when my mom and I would argue, hated my sister and I becouse she hated our dad and when she passed away, she left all her expensive jewelry and gold to my cousins (her son’s daughters) she passed away and I always pray for her becouse she was my grandma but I never miss her. I feel bad but the way you effect someone while alive will also matter when you pass. Just lways be kind and loving.

11. The one I was close with (my mom’s mom) literally never did anything rude, she was the kindest person I’ve known.

    My bio dad’s mom, who I didn’t have much of a relationship with, once sent me a long letter chastising me for not reaching out to him more. He left when I was 2 and he never made an effort to get to know me, but she wrote several pages blaming me for the lack of relationship and telling me it was my responsibility to make the effort to get him back into my life. So that was probably the rudest/worst thing.

12. Told me that if I could pinch an inch then I was fat.

    Thanks grandma… That didn’t have any consequences at all. 🙄

13. Sided with my aunt and uncle when my mum found my diary detailing the abuse I had endured for 6 years.

    “I cant take sides, she’s my daughter and it’s her husband who she loves”.

    She is now in a carehome with dementia but as no one else would do it (aunt, uncle and nephew had all died), I stepped up to care for her for over a year.

    I obviously will never get closure but it did help me move on after 30+ of low/no contact.

    Hilariously, I and my kids are the only members of our side of the family that my Nan consistently remembers!

14. I was visiting one day, one of my least favorite cousins was there too, when all of a sudden she looked at me, pointed her finger in my face, and said “You are very spoiled”.

    Both sides of my family are generally so poor that they felt I was “spoiled” because I had clothes, food, and my own tiny bedroom. They also knew my dad was an abusive drunk. No one said anything about that though, that was considered normal.

    I grew up thinking oh, I must have a lot of stuff? Later someone asked me about my family and laughed, told me no, I was just a normal working class kid.

    I was made to feel bad my entire life because *checks notes* my mom bought us Christmas gifts and I wasn’t starving to death. We always had ramen and beefaroni…

15. Laughed at me when I said I wanted to get my masters and told me I should think of a “plan B.”

    My other grandmother never learned how to spell my name correctly.

16. A year or so ago everyone got together for her birthday. It was nice to see everyone again after two years of being a hermit. Nothing noteworthy really happened.

    Then, a month or two later, I was at a doctors appointment. Turns out she goes to church with my doctor, and told him how “worried about me she was because I gained weight” over the pandemic. I was livid that she went behind my back like that to gossip about me at her church.

    I have medical issues, she knows and never even asked me about those. Never even considered that hey maybe a lot of people gained weight during a global pandemic for a multitude of reasons. Just went to my doctor to act like a concerned grandparent while never even talking to me.

    I’ve been turning down any invites to family events that she’ll be at ever since.

17. When I told her I was getting divorced because we were unhappy together she told me she was “disappointed” in me because “marriage isn’t about happiness” lol then proceeded to ask, “do you think I’m HAPPY to be married to your grandpa?” Old people can be real weird sometimes…

18. My granny told me to sit on top of my man during sex if I wanna have a baby girl …. Granny, just don’t

19. The only bad thing my grandma ever did was to die way too early. I miss her every day.

20. Told me I had the “exact same figure, exactly the same!” as my professional rugby player cousin who’s thighs are probably each thicker than my entire body.

21. She told me “your nose looks just like mine! Well just like mine before I got plastic surgery to fix it!” when I was a child. She also convinced I had really thick eyebrows (I don’t) and INSISTED she wax them starting from when I was like 10 up until high school age. Pretty sure they grow patchy now because she did that. She also always gave me really bad haircuts (she was a hairdresser) and wouldn’t respect that I wanted to keep my hair long.

    My mother and father were divorced (she’s my paternal grandmother) and I always preferred my mother so I think it was her way to subtly punish me/gaslight me.

22. Was opening up to her how sad I was about losing my mum last year (her daughter) she started going off on one how much harder she had it when she lost her dad in her 20s. That whole family haven’t one sympathetic bone in their bodies. At mums funeral they used it as a catch up with distant family

23. She walked out on my mom when she was 18, then had zero interest in us. My mom never expected that.

24. Looked me up and down and said, ” There needs to be less of you.”

    I had only met her a few times by this point as a teenager due to family fallout before I was born. We had reconnected, and this was my second or third visit…..I questioned a lot of my decisions that day. 🤔

25. Not to me but to my mom (and by extension me) my uncle (moms brother) killed himself and wasn’t found for a while. The cops notified his mother (my nana) and she didn’t tell us. We found out through a Facebook post my other uncle made. She said she thought it was something to be “kept in the family”.

    She did the same shit when my grandpa killed himself. We found out through a handwritten letter from my moms aunt expressing condolences for the loss.

    Nana lives with my youngest uncle (the one that made the Facebook post) and has him wrapped around her finger. Think Uncle Buster from Arrested Development but my nana doesn’t have any money at all.

    Fuck you nana. You were complicit in your husbands abuse and you don’t love anyone but yourself. She actually could be dead already, I don’t have any way of knowing. Good riddance.

26. She’s always right, no matter how wrong she is. It has been the main reason I don’t really have a relationship with her.