15yrs of a marriage that I have made so many wrong choices. I love my wife 39f with all my heart. I’ve pushed or expected her to leave me due to the fact I’ve had a hard life and was traumatized as a very young kid. We have 2 boys and 1 daughter. They have always been my only real family.
I really didn’t have a mom or dad growing up and struggled then and now to understand why. My wife and kids give my life real meaning..
We for a few years have stopped communicating like we once did. It drives me crazy. Not knowing her feelings. Then I started to feel like my grasp on our love was falling away I got so scared. I start to panic with fear not knowing what to do. Now I’ve pushed her and our kids to leave. I really screwed up. I miss them so much each day.. My fears have now turned into reality I’m not sure if my wife will ever forgive me. I wish we could work through it. Considering knowing and being together for almost 20yrs..
If she happens to see this by any chance jj I am sorry love you forever baby your my heart and soul. Lets work through this and get our love back. You are worth it all. Love Sj
5 comments
What did you do?
Was your insecurities that led to this?
What does your therapist think? Childhood trauma is one thing but leaning on it into adulthood and using it to justify being a shitty husband is pretty weak. If you want your wife back, start working on being the man she wants, not the guy crying into a pillow in the dark.
I just read excuse after excuse and if you loved her that much you would already have made changes. Time to stop and take action, make a great co parenting plan, be present, get therapy and maybe your wife will see your action and your changes and want to come back or you can keep playing the victim.
I am sorry that you are going through this.
At the same time…. You were previously telling folks that your wife didn’t want to have sex with you and that you were glad you were separated because now you were “back on the market.” What changed?
You have lost your way.