She went to a work event and I was wondering why I wasn’t hearing from her. We had gone together to find her a dress for the event. My last message to her was hot stuff . Come to find out a guy she didn’t know was in their group and buying her drinks, telling her she’s so pretty, and they all (supposedly) went to another bar where he kissed her. If this was a one off event maybe I’d brush it off but her boss kissed her a few weeks ago and I’ve always suspected she has a crush on him. At the time I was upset at her about the work incident because I’ve been encouraging her to look for other jobs for years but she just doesn’t. She had got upset back at me saying I should be supportive since she was sexually harassed. She told me she forgave me because my manhood was threatened…wtf kinda response was that but I let it go since she was the victim. I can now conclude she invites this behavior . The first thing she said to me today was let’s have a baby (we have been talking about it) but I feel disrespected.
How am I supposed to show my face to her work events if we stay together? I’d be a sucker. I broke up with her over this last incident and she’s telling me she will quit her job for me. We live in a very expensive city so one income is not ideal especially if we are talking about a family. We’ve been together five years and she brings this style of drama to my life out of nowhere. I’m going to have to punch someone when I see them now if we run into these clowns assuming I take her back.
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Sorry man, I don’t comprehend much here. What does “kiss” mean? My sister and I kiss each other on the side of the cheek and we started that when our grandmother died, because that’s how she always treated us…so it’s like a remembrance between us. I’ve got a friend who hugs and does a Russian type kiss when greeting his friends. My wife and I have an intimate kiss and it requires both of us to be open for it, otherwise we’d hit a cheek, or forehead, from a duck or weave. I can’t imagine a kiss on the lips being difficult to avoid unless there’s a mobility problem. So the concept of a non-intimate kiss being the fault of a single person just doesn’t work in my head.
Next, only you being upset doesn’t compute. My wife came home livid that a man complimented her ankle bracelet (anklet?) once because she thought that was a violation of boundaries. I can’t imagine how ticked off she would have been having to dodge a lip kiss from someone. My ex-wife once was really pissed at her boss saying her outfit was a good look for her. I’m certain my ex would have tried to remove the manhood of her boss if he’d tried to kiss her on the lips… basically I wouldn’t have been around to get upset before bailing her out of jail. (I just talked with my wife and she assured me she would be extremely upset with having to avoid a lip kiss from someone and doesn’t know how she could not be able to avoid it. She’s as baffled by this story as I am and thinks it’s fiction… actually said, “That’s BS.”)
Lastly kissing anyone without clear Indication it was really wanted would bring me fully into sexual abuser territory in my mind. It’s just not something you try to do and it’s not a strange new boundary that nobody knows about.
So all I come up with is, IF this is a true story, that your GF enjoys hanging around sexual abusers, or she doesn’t consider you two in an exclusive relationship, or she’s making stuff up to create drama, or she has no idea how to avoid a lip kiss, or she is unable to move and scream, or she hangs out with folks from a culture that does the cheek kiss thing as habit and either fails to correct it as undesirable or just relates that to you as just kiss.
(No, I don’t know the exact culture of my cheek kissing friend, but it just seems Russian despite his preference for Italian shoes. His accent is neutral to my Hoosier ears. His sister does the same thing without Italian shoes.)
Why would this guy keep buying your girlfriend drinks? Did he not know she was in a relationship, did she not mention it?
She let some guy buy her drinks all night and then he kissed her? That’s the story she is telling you and it doesn’t sound great…. and her boss already kissed her?