So theres this girl at my job who will roll her eyes at me whenever I ask her something, will mock what I’m saying, just pull stuff out of my hands aggressively, say stuff to try and embarrass me, or will just outright say something rude. I don’t know why she acts like this when I’ve never talked to her in a personal sense and I’ve always been nice to her just like I am to everyone else in the job. How should I deal with a situation like this? Should i just be an AH back to her or should I approach her about it in a civil way. Idk what to do, because last time I’ve seen her she made me have a panic attack due to how much she irritated me all day and I couldn’t stop shaking. Please help me you guys.
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I actually just listened to a book called The No Asshole Rule. It was only 3 hours long and gives some good insight on how to navigate people like this in the workplace. My library’s audiobook app had it. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/97905 Hope this helps!
Does she do this to everyone?
If so, have you ever tried right in the moment asking if you’re doing something to annoy her? The best conflict resolution involves figuring out the other person’s unmet needs. Give her a chance to express herself in a more appropriate way that offers a chance of success. Like, it’s OK if she’s upset about something you do because you can stop doing it and just didn’t know, no biggie. Cooperation. More like giving candy to a crying baby than “losing,” especially given she probably has a poorly managed disorder.
If she’s not like this to everyone, it could be that she holds generalized contempt for you, like she just doesn’t like who you are and lacks the incentive to be professional about it. In which case, you could relay the incidences to your most immediate boss as objectively as possible (so as to be a reliable narrator) and ask them to talk to her for you. IME this is the most personable approach and the most likely to see something get done–rely on your work connections/relationships to send her the message “we don’t act like that here.” She’ll be bitter af but will bite her tongue not to be hated/lose her job if she’s at all capable. The less you retaliate, the better your case in the public eye for her hostility being unjust, not simply a cat fight.
In the end you spend like half your life at work and if it doesn’t resolve soon, maybe you should consider looking for an employer that doesn’t tolerate unhinged employees. 🤷
* **Eyerolls** Ignore, or stop asking her questions.
* **Mockery** Respond as if she said something nice or normal. “I know, RIGHT?” (big smile) “Yeah, that’s what *I* was thinking!” (wink) “So you HEAR me!” (thumbs up)
* **Grabbing** You know she’s done this, so if she’s nearby and you’re holding something, HOLD TIGHT. If she grabs it, pull it back harder. Laugh. “Looks like we’ve got a tug-of-war going, that’s so CUTE!”
* **Embarrassing statements** “Sorry you’re having a bad DAY!”
* **Rudeness** “I don’t have time for RUDE-JITSU right now, let’s play at LUNCH!” (Smile)
In other words, let it roll of you, play around with her, smile when she’s trying to annoy you, make a game of it all.
That will bother her more than you becoming upset.