I’ve noticed that I’m an extremely immature person. I regularly get upset for the most petty reasons. For example, I feel jealous when an acquaintance speaks to someone else. The event that pushed me to make this post was when today, I bumped into a girl I used to (still do?) have feelings for, and felt immense jealousy and bitterness seeing that she was walking with another guy. My point is that I am an extremely immature person and aware of it. I would say my maturity level is a good 7-8 years below my actual age (I’m 21).
Although I try my best to cover up my feelings, I suspect they still leak through and others can pick up on them. So the best thing to do would be to fix the problem at its root. I suspect my extreme immaturity is due to low social contact and lack of life experiences, so the solution would be to get out more. Which is what I’m doing, but these unwanted feelings are making that a lot more difficult than it already is.
Any advice? Or do I just need to power through and ignore my emotions? Right now I’m using alcohol to dull my emotions to help.
5 comments
I have the same issue lol, waiting for answers
If you are able to self-reflect on your level of maturity, you are much more mature than many, if not most, adults. I’m not just saying that lol
I want to clarify – your definition of maturity is the ability to not get upset about things you deem petty? Please note, this question is not a judgmental or snarky one, I’m just wanting to know your working definition of maturity.
To watch everything inside of you and outside, and when there is something happening to you, to see it as if it were happening to someone else, with no comment, no judgment, no attitude, no interference, no attempt to change, only to understand. As you do this, you’ll begin to realize that increasingly you are disidentifying from “me.”
To be honest I think it’s more of importance to validate those feelings and find ways to cope with it, that’s how you can grow emotionally too. To me that is part of emotional maturity.
I think it’s very valid to get upset about anything really, I believe the maturity comes from how you handle and deal with those feelings.
For example: you notice you are upset about noticing she went with another guy
Validation and which I agree with: it is upsetting that she went with another guy and it totally makes sense too because you have feelings for her, I’d be upset too if I were you.
I am aware this does not change the fact of you being upset about getting upset, that’s the next thing you can pay attention to or perhaps first:
You are upset because you, and correct me if I am wrong, value social skills development and maturity too, on your feelings level too so it makes sense that it is upsetting you and want it to be different.
That’s how you in my opinion amongst perhaps some other things, gain emotional maturity, create space for the feelings to be there, validate them, learn to be kind to yourself and from there on decide on how to act on them.
You’re writing you have feelings for the girl, in my opinion to grow emotional maturity it’s important to be aware of the feelings and wants/needs that you have that are connected to each other.
Example: You like her (feeling) so your action might then be to actually ask her out, get to know her. Because you would like to get closer to her perhaps (a want) you are human and you need connection (a need)
Of course these subjects might need more perspectives and nuances to it and I wrote a simplified version. Because it’s also good to check in how it is for the other person, but that’s a different story.
I am fan of good therapy so might be worth and I’d also advice looking for one if these things are more difficult for you and can come from deeper stuff that might be difficult to do alone.
Hope this helps!
I think one sign of maturity is you focus on making yourself a better person and accept that everybody has their own life.
Try meditation instead of alcohol.