Men of reddit who fell in love with a friend. How did you tackle it?

41 comments

1. I bit the bullet, asked her out, and she said no, as she was dating someone.

   Ultimately, she and I got closer as a result.

2. She asked me out. We’ve been married almost 10 years now.

3. I moved 3000 miles away so I could get on with the rest of my life instead of facing unrequited love.

4. As a woman let me tell you how he tackled it. He looked at me and said, what would you say if I told you I think I’m catching feelings for you and I said he’ll yea, I’ve just been waiting. We are happily in love now. Thank God he finally asked.

5. We ended up getting engaged for a short while, then split up, then got back together and now separated.

   We speak every few days. But it’s weird not being with her just as much as it was weird being with an actual friend.

6. Just as in football.

7. I kept asking her out until she said yes, relationship went bad within 2 months. Upset I lost a friend, but glad I gave it a shot.

8. It did not go well at all for me. She ended up taking advantage of my kindness a couple months ago so we arent really talking much.

9. Communicate.

10. Waited to get an idea of her feelings of me. 2 months later when I was absolutely sure I asked her out. She had no idea I was into her and declined out of sheer confusion and not knowing how she felt about me 😬

    We continued being close after a day or two. Fast forward 4 months. Yesterday she fell asleep on my stomach during a cuddle and making-out session so apperantly thing worked out well😅

11. Absolutely nothing. I’ve found it’s never worth the risk of losing a friend because people are shallow and if they don’t feel the same way they usually cut you out of their life.

12. I met her in college. We were best friends throughout college and became roommates. She had a boyfriend, who eventually became her fiancé.

    She went to medschool and he stayed in another city for work, 6 hours apart. One day, she calls me and tells me her fiancé had sex with a stripper and they broke up. She was devastated. I told her that I was gonna go get her drunk, like we used to back in undergrad.

    A few weeks later, she comes into town and we partied. Then… something happened to both of us. We had never seen each other as anything but friends, but that night we went home more than that.

    A long distance 2 years relationship spawned. It was wonderful, or so I thought. We talked on the phone everyday. I was in nursing school at the time. Then toward the end of medschool, she became more distant. I tried to make the relationship work, but it failed. She said she wanted someone of her station, someone who would make as much money as her. We broke up and she started dating a cook at a local restaurant. He had done some time for drugs. They broke up.

    I was absolutely devastated for a long time. I hooked up with some of her friends, but I was just an empty shell. Orgasms were worthless activities. She said some stuff at the end that really tore me apart. I should have gone to therapy.

    I met my now wife and I understand why dating my friend didn’t work. She wasn’t for me. I have the most amazing wife and I only wish I would have found her sooner. She is my best friend and confidant. I don’t talk to my ex, and we haven’t spoken in 10+ years. I’m glad. My life is happy. I learned a lot. She was there so I learned, but I should have just learned not to date her sooner.

13. Head first, dated her for 8-10 months.. was a big mistake, had to break it off.. after that met my wife 🙂

14. I did terribly, so my advice is to spit it out as soon as you’re sure you want something more. And if the answer is no, you really need to go away meet other people, basically have someone else in life. Chances are, you’ll find someone OR said friend will lose importance in your life

15. We dated a bit in high school, then went separate ways for a couple years. We then started dating again during college, then engaged three months after.

    July will be our 24th anniversary.

16. Currently having pretty strong feelings for a friend of mine. I think she reciprocates, but she and I are also shy. We touched on it briefly in conversation, we more or less know how we both feel, but it’s still kind of unspoken for now. She’s absolutely worth waiting for, and I am for now, a truly kind soul in a cold world. She and I bring out each other’s best.

17. Didn’t need to. She didn’t reciprocate.

18. I never told her kinda wish I had, she died from an overdose

19. I developed feelings for my best friend when we were freshmen in college. We had been friends since middle school but dated mutual friends in high school.

    I told her how I felt closer to her than ever and that our friendship justified exploring an even deeper relationship. While she didn’t have the same depth of initial feelings, she agreed with my reasoning and wanted to go on a few dates. We went out twice and were formally dating by the end of the next week.

    We dated for six years – three in undergrad and three when she was in med school and I was working. The years in undergrad, especially the first two, were the most deeply loving and romantically passionate years I’ve shared with anyone in my life so far. The next year (senior year) was tougher due to professional and geographic uncertainty looming over our relationship.

    Her first three years in med school (and the latter half of our relationship) fundamentally changed who she was. We were long distance. She became vastly more selfish in general and vain about income and career prestige (I work in finance so not sure what was wrong with me). She’s Indian and she cited my coming from a “broken white family” (divorced parents, lower middle class) as an issue for her family even though I had broken my family’s cycle by graduating from a prestigious program and starting a good career, two things that I assumed any parents would admire in a partner to their son/daughter (guess I was wrong there too).

    She cheated on me in her third year of med school, so I ended things. The fog of love was gone and I finally recognized years of signs that she was not right for me. The guy she cheated with became her boyfriend for her last of year of med school before they parted ways for residency. I haven’t spoken to her since I ended things three years ago.

    She’s a shit human being, but I wouldn’t go back and do things differently. Got a few good years out of it along with some brutal life lessons. I believe I’m better prepared for when the right person finally comes along.

20. Right girl, wrong time. I let her know how I felt, she didn’t feel the same. Friendship over.

    It was still the best summer ever. My only wish was to have held back and be the friend she needed during her heartbreak (_ghosted by her “soulmate”_).

21. I blocked her from everywhere it is pretty childish but oh well.

22. I told it her and she responded “You’re not loveable”

23. Liked her all the way through high school, but she didn’t like me. Was always a friend. A few years after graduation we got together and hungout like friends for weeks, until one night of drinking. Together for 6, married for 1.

24. Speaking for another, asked her out, refused to remain as friends if she said no, and almost not let her have time to think. After giving that time, (about a day before able to speak again), I said yes. We’ve been together for 10+ years and are married. He’s my best friend.

25. Well I’m married to my best friend now. Before her I was in love with my best friend in 8th grade. I loved her for 10 years and yes she knew how I felt. One day she tells me that she loves me. We start a relationship, now at long distance because I moved. A week later she tells me she sat on a guys lap at a party while people were having sex in the living room in front of everybody. I broke up with her. We haven’t talked since.

26. Making sure they’re not defenseless. Lead with the shoulder into the chest.

27. We dated for a while, broke up, moved on. Circle of life innit.

    No one was eaten by a Lion tho…

28. Rationalized that I’d rather have them in my life as a friend than not at all and just go boink someone else

29. Haha funny story. We were watching a horror show one night (with a small group of people) and she was sitting beside me so I was really flirty all evening and eventually we ended up hardcore cuddling. I couldn’t sleep when I got home so I texted her about it, and she said that she just wanted to be friends and all that crap, so that felt kinda sucky. We were still good friends for a while until our friend group fell apart.

30. as soon as you fall in love with someone, it’s a point of no return for the friendship. you can’t be “just friends” anymore. You need to either ask her out and make her your girlfriend, or if she’s taken/rejects you, stop talking to her.

31. Realized that i am in severe depression when that feeling was the only thing that made me feel alive for the last 6 or 7 years

32. We had some back and forth flirting for a while, then ole night she was being extra touchy, so i sat her down and said that i would like to move this forward. She said she felt the same, but had didn’t feel like she deserved me.. i said she could think about it and get back to me. We never did end up together, but that’s okay, i was true to my own feelings.

    Never lie or downplay your emotions my guy, a shot taken is better then nothing

33. Confessed to her, got rejected, accepted the rejection, and remained good friends with her even after the rejection.

34. Usually when you tackle, you want to hit low to throw your opponent off their center of gravity. Going for the upper body is a bit riskier because if they’re stronger than you, they probably won’t budge.

35. We made a baby and have been together for 3 years.

36. Got rejected. Saw her kissing her new boyfriend the next day. Didn’t talk to her over a year. Now after some years that have passed we are good friends.

37. Your wife should be your best friend

38. It just happened naturally and now it’s over. I lost my lover and my best friend.

39. I told her and she told me she didn’t feel the same way. We moved on and become best friends. I still live her but I don’t allow it to affect our friendship.

40. I kicked her out if my life, i got sick of once every 3 weeks. Thsi nearly destroyer my sex drive and Hunger.

41. We were both inexperienced. When I asked her out, she said maybe after midterms, which became term projects, which became finals, and so on. I valued her friendship, so I thought letting my feelings settle down and staying friends would be better than cutting her off.

    More than a decade later, I can say I made the wrong choice. Sitting on my feelings like that stunted my romantic life severely. It took waaay too long for me to fully come to terms with her rejection. The ironic part is that we are still good friends, but at this point I don’t have anything to gain by abandoning the friendship. But I would be in a better place now if I had cut ties then.