my first language isnt english so please excuse any errors.
TL;DR: my boyfriend has spent half of our relationship at his moms place, even sleeping there when he lives just minutes away from her and i want to bring up how its affecting our relationship and it has hurt my feelings, i understood the first 2 weeks and im trying to keep on understanding but its hard. how can i talk about this with him without coming across or mean or blaming him?
we have only been together for nearly 2 months and he has been at his moms place for 3 weeks simply cuz he wants to, i understood the first 2 weeks he was there cuz he finally got to see his brother aswell, but this is the 3rd week i have to sit and wait for him, he hasnt called me in 3 weeks, i dont even remember what his voice sounds like which breaks my heart.
he is spending half of our relationship with his mom, he is sleeping there this entire time when he lives just a few minutes away from her, he is 21, she literally threw him out in the street and he lived like that for over a year and now he is going back to “visit” her for god knows how long. he just keeps saying he doesnt know when he is going back home.
he got pissed that i was upset over this, and i started thinking a lot and i remembered that he has said things like “none has made me feel so loved and cared for before, other than my mom” “none makes me so happy, other than my mom” “my mom is above everyone” “im so gratefull i have you, none can make me this happy besides my mom, i will do anything for you <3”
he mentions his mom in his love letters to me, he told me i remind him alot of his mom and thats a massive compliment but it starts looking weird when he talks about his mom like that and puts her above me at all times no matter what.
arent you supposed to make your girlfriend and mom like each other???? i feel like he is making me compete with his mom for attention and love, i wanted to meet her until all of this happend, and like arent you supposed to spend alot of time and have fun with your new partner and build up the relationship????
im just abandoned here having to wait and not knowing when he will be back. he didnt even tell me he was going to his moms place and staying there before he went, i found out the next day, which i think is unfair, i was waiting for him to get back from work just to find out he was with his mom and sleeping there.
is my boyfriend a mamas boy? is he just too blind to see when there is a problem? he has only had toxic and abusive relationships before this so i dont want to judge him and i do my best to understand all of this and stay calm, he might just be like this due to his past relationships being toxic and im willing to heal with him and help him but how can i bring it up without coming across as attacking or blaming him? how do i get him to go back home or at least decide when he will go home without coming across as mean?
i really need him to get home so we can talk about all of this and how its been affecting our relationship and i have nothing against his mom or him visiting every now and then and all i ask is that he decides what day he is going back home
he might even miss my birthday cuz he is there for so long ): ,i told him i wont forgive him if he isnt home by the time its my birthday, this isnt the only time he has ignored an issue just cuz it wasnt an issue in his eyes either
1 comment
This is weird. The relationship is too new to have this many problems. You should break up and move on.
You 2 are both so young. It doesn’t sound like he’s ready for a serious commitment to you. If your paths cross in the future and the spark is still there you could try dating again, but right now you should focus on yourself because he’s clearly only focusing on himself.