I’m a 21 year old female that never experienced an orgasm with any of my partners. My whole life the only pleasure I ever gotten was masturbating alone in the dark (I don’t even need porn or sexual content to cum). I thought maybe it was the issue of genders so I tried both males and females and still nothing. I get horny on very rare occasions and once I do if I’m with somebody it’s like a losing battle for me to stay in that mood. Ive gotten pretty good at faking so I don’t make anyone else insecure but when I think about it I feel sad, like there is something wrong with me. Anyone else struggled with it? If you did what did you do for it to change?
4 comments
Don’t fake it. In the end you’re hurting yourself. Show your partner what works best for you. If they are a caring person they will want to listen.
do you think you could maybe be asexual?
Maybe you haven’t met the right partner for you just yet. Iv noticed im more turned on with certain partners than other ones. My last girl i dated told me she didnt like to be eat out until i did it to her. After that it was all she wanted so it can really just depend on your partner as well
Sorry this is personal so you can take it rhetorically and just let it stimulate thoughts.
Have you have a deep connection with any of your partners?
Have you had actually relationships where you’re comfortably exploring desires together? Respectful to each others boundaries too of course
My experience because a guy didn’t make me come until I was 24….
I asked those questions because most of my younger twenties I spent hooking up and just acting like I was enjoying myself. Not faking, just acting like this is what I wanted out of my sex life. No tuning just doing whatever whenever. Maybe staying a fling a month or two at most and my few short relationships were never serious. I never grew with anyone.
And I then I met my current boyfriend. He now knows me in and out. Making me come was like impossible in the early stages of our relationship. It just got easier the more I got comfortable and relaxed with him.
I realized I enjoyed the sex with my boyfriend in the early early stages before he even made me come 100% with no direction way more than the times with any of my randoms or bfs that didn’t care what I wanted
Don’t just make it a goal to come or “finish”.
Pay attention to what’s doing it, movement wise. Try to focus on what you think about. Take it slow if you can
I had trained my clit to only come to a certain dance that only my hand could do at a certain angle with a certain finger. Absolutely ridiculous.
I literally had to relax and slowly teach my parts that there are other ways and having someone take time and effort to build that pleasure until it spills over is way better than that fast orgasm you can give yourself….. Have them going crazy just over the fact that you had a good time at their expense.
But also maybe these things are not for you. Maybe you have not discovered what is for you.
Please explore safely and healthily.