My (52f) hubby (48m) have been together for 5 years and have a pretty active sex life. Recently things have slowed down a little so I have been coming up with ways to bring the excitement back.

Recently I started sending hubby provocative pics of me in his favourite outfits ( latex, corsets etc) and using toys. All I get in response is “Nice” and nothing more.

How many men would appreciate pics like this? Am I just wasting my time and effort?

TL;DR: Would love some advice or suggestions on how men feel about this.

29 comments
  1. With all due respect, is there any reason you can’t just ask him yourself? An average consensus of opinions won’t matter if your particular partner deviates from the norm.

    Also: cold hard text on a screen isn’t exactly great at conveying strong, complex, or personal emotions like talking face-to-face does. We can’t know for certain what feelings are behind a single “nice” text message.

  2. “Men” don’t feel any single way about anything, just like “women” don’t operate as a homogenous bloc either. Some like them, some don’t. How is that helpful for the single example of your husband? If things have slowed down, talk about it! If you want to know how he feels about provocative pics, ask him. To be blunt, if this is your approach to communication in your relationship, that’s probably a large part of whatever the current issue is.

  3. Yeah he’s not gonna find this hot after 5yrs together hun, most guys wouldn’t after even a few weeks, I’d stop before u really kill things in that area

  4. Really, you’ve got to talk to your husband about this. A lot of us like this sort of thing, but none of us can speak for all of us. One thing I am comfortable saying is that lots of us have been socialized to be very careful in how we talk about women’s bodies. This is basically good, but it can leak into other parts of our lives, when restraint isn’t warranted, and cause problems. Part of your conversation about this should be to discuss what sorts of responses you like. Do you *want* him to be crude? Tell you what he wants to do to you? Tell you when he gets off to the pictures? Praise your body in more purely aesthetic terms? If you don’t lay it out for him, he might not know what to do, so he expresses his appreciation in monosyllabic terms.

  5. I suggest asking him if the provocative pics are his jam and then decide based on his answer if it is worth the time and effort. They are my jam, my but I am not him

  6. some other men would enjoy it, i personally would probably say ‘nice’ then and there, but kindly ask you to refrain from doing it the next time we met

  7. I think he might be stressed about something or tired, definitely talk to him to see if he has any problems or worries on his mind and see if you can help him

  8. I personally am not really into that. I think it’s sexier when I get “teased”, like a discreet photo where it’s obvious shes not wearing panties.
    But that’s just me, talk to him. There’s no shame in talking about sexual preferences

  9. I would love if my wife did that but I’m more into teasing than provocative. Pics of her in sexy regular clothes or just a bra and panties would drive me wild over her playing with herself or 90% naked, that’s just too raw for my tastes.

  10. Yeah, just ask him, and if he says they aren’t really doing anything for him, then don’t immediately go to thinking he’s not into the subject of the photo, you, or the outfit, or whatever. He may be totally into all those things, and just not care one way or the other about photos. Or like me, who works in a very professional environment, I’d rather NOT get those photos sent to me via text, as I generally open my texts from my wife right away with whomever is in the room.

  11. this dude is responding to nudes with “nice” makes me think hes not really vibing with it. Communication here is needed

  12. I’m personally against it. When I was in university a list leaked of all the girls in the uni and their nude pics. If you send any form of digital image just assume it’s out there forever. Since then I refuse to send any compromising pics or to receive them.

  13. I absolutely LOVE it when my wife sends me sexy pics.

    If I’m in the middle of work I will respond with a simple, nice, sexy, hot.

    But I tell her later how I love to get those pictures and how sexy I think she is.

    Everyone is different.

    Talk to him about it. Tell him you are doing it to spice things up and was hoping for more input.

  14. Not sure why other men’s affinity for those pictures matters if you’re only married to your husband.

  15. I would appreciate it, but who knows what’s going on. He could be at work or whatever where opening them could be awks. Does he come home like ready to go, or what? If it isn’t doing anything for him noticeable maybe it’s time to talk, even just to find out if he wants it or not. I can’t judge for each individual guy yknow

  16. If he is just giving such a short response, than you better talk to him. Communication is key to everything

  17. I get too startled and forget what words are, in my mind I say maaany things but usually just say short stuff out loud , still, I love when my gf sends me teasing pics.

  18. Some men like it, some men don’t, some men like it but aren’t particularly good at saying as much verbally, some men like it but are very cautious about saying something you might take wrong, some men might like specific kinds of photos but not others but not feel right about ordering sexy pics off you like a menu, some men might like them but be annoyed at the times/occasions you choose to send them. If you want to know which kind of man your husband is, you have to actually ask him, and tell him how you’d like him to respond to the pictures.

  19. As man, honestly I never really cared. Of course I’ll make the appropriate appreciative noises.

    But personally I just feel so emotionally detached from anything on a screen it just doesn’t really register. That doesn’t mean I don’t love my girlfriend, but a picture on my phone is just a picture on my phone

    Texting is only for information to me

  20. you mentioned that things have slowed down… I would have a heart to heart and see if there’s a deeper issue that he hasn’t expressed. It might contribute to his lack of reaction.

  21. My ex would respond with “nice” or not at all. Come to find out he just didn’t really care, a normal selfie and a nude would garner the same reaction. It hurt my feelings a lot but some guys just aren’t into it

  22. My boyfriend did this. I got insecure and stopped sending them. Turns out he just wanted a different style. Just talk to him.

  23. Thank you all for your input. I’ll try to talk to him again and hopefully have an open discussion.

  24. In the start of a relationship, I love it. But I’m somewhat indifferent after a few years – especially when picture/video styles get repetitive. I live with my gf so provocative pics aren’t as “valuable” since I can just ask to cop a feel whenever I want.

    I will say, however, IRL or when she does surprise me with great content my brain goes caveman mode and I can’t verbalize my excitement.

    On the other hand, “nice” sounds stale and I’ll echo you need to talk to him about it. Otherwise, my advice would be to be spontaneous and avoid repetitive content/timing.

  25. As a 52 y/o male, I would say yes, buy you need to discuss with your husband. I have a somewhat similar situation where I have the higher sex drive and like those things. I struggle, as you may, wondering how to communicate and talk about these things.i constantly get the ” I don’t want to talk about it right now,” but the conversation never happened.
    My suggestion is to sit him down and discuss what turns gin on, what’s changed, if anything, see a marriage / sex counselor.

  26. I would love for my wife to send me some pictures. They don’t have to be that provocative and I’d be super excited!

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