So the three of us met (me 19(m), Julie 19(f), and Sam 19(nb)), on a before school trip freshman year of college and became pretty close pretty fast. A few weeks in to us being friends we started joking that we were in a throuple. But as time went on it became less of a joke. We started out by cuddling which was nice. Eventually one night I ended up with my hand on Julie’s boob and Sam’s butt. Later that same night I ended up making out with Sam while Julie was sleeping with her arm around me. The next day things were a little awkward between us, no one really wanted to talk about what happened. Later that night while Julie was sleeping I talked with Sam about what we did. We both liked what we did and wanted to continue, but we didn’t feel anything for Julie. Cue to me and Sam sneaking around to hang out with each other and not Julie. Me and Sam are now in a more serious relationship and feel it’s time to tell Julie; however, Julie told her therapist that she was in a polyamorous relationship and threw up while telling him. I don’t feel like this is a real polyamorous relationship, I feel no attraction to Julie and cuddling was all it was. Now me and Sam want to tell Julie but we don’t want to hurt her and damage her already fragile mental health. How should we go about telling Julie that we are together and we don’t want to continue anything with her?
TLDR:
I’m stuck in a polyamorous relationship and want to break it off amicably
3 comments
That sounds tough
You tell her firmly, so that she doesn’t think there’s a chance of her being reincorporated.
Might be more considerate to have one of you tell her with the option of her talking to the other: just so she doesn’t feel ganged up on.
She’ll take it hard, but people waiting for a good way to break up will be waiting forever. If she leaves in a super shit mental state, reach out to someone who can do something about it. You two can’t be that support for her anymore.
Honestly you’re gonna need to be honest
She’ll be upset, and I think will deserve to be
From the sound of it you kinda led her into thinking that
And even snuck around without communicating
But your still basically teens, so you won’t always know how to communicate effectively
Don’t put any blame, just be firm.