I’ve known she was in a happy, solid, 5-year long relationship since I first met her a few months ago. Great gal, good looking, smart, cultivated, easy to talk to, common interests… I like to think she became a close friend of mine, and I of hers.
She wants to style my eyebrows, we go out to eat every week or so, she sometimes puts an arm around my shoulders or under my own arm when we’re out drinking with friends and have to share the same seat and has no problem with me doing the same (even though she usually hates being touched by someone else than her boyfriend), compliments me, we jokingly flirt pretty much all the time etc… I might be reading too much into it and not even be THAT close a friend to her as I think, but ultimately who knows but her?
Now I’ve always had trouble with relationships in general, especially women, due to shyness, lack of self-confidence and addiction to porn. The overwhelming majority of my friends were boys, and so were all my close friends. I have however made great progress on all these matters in the last few years and am very proud of myself.
Bottom line is I’ve rarely been in that kind of close relationship with a woman, and I think I’m starting to fall in love. I think about her a lot, and start hypothesizing about what would be happening if she wasn’t already taken… I would obviously never do anything to harm her relationship with her boyfriend (great guy btw, we have a lot in common, even though I don’t see him nearly as much as I see her), but I have to do something to get her out of my head and keep our friendship going without being awkward.
With all that said, I come to you for help, kind stranger: have you ever been in a similar situation and if so how did you handle it?
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TL;DR: I believe I have become close friends with a woman who is already in a couple, and can’t help thinking about her and imagining what it would be like if she wasn’t already taken. How do I get her out of my head and stay goo friends with her without being awkward?
1 comment
Distance yourself, and take a step back. Dont feed into the fantasy. Date others do different hobbies. Work on yourself in a positive fashion be it the gym, a degree, or working on a car. Treat it like a break up until the crush is gone.