I (m25) overheard my girlfriend (f29) talking to her friend about how she misses her ex and how she’ll be very upset when he gets married and has kids. For context she was with him for more than 5 years.
Naturally, hearing her express such deep feelings for her ex has left me feeling like I might be playing second fiddle in her heart. It’s been bothering me ever since, and I find myself grappling with uncertainty about how to approach this situation.
On one hand, I understand that people have past relationships and memories that linger. It’s only natural to think about them from time to time.
However, the intensity of her emotions, as expressed to her friend, has left me feeling somewhat inadequate in comparison. It’s left me questioning our relationship and my place in her life. Should I talk to her about it or just let it go?
TLDR
Girlfriend said she misses her ex and will be upset if he finds new love. I’m unsure if I have a place in her life.
6 comments
How long is it till they broke up?
You need to define your boundries. If she misses her ex it is to her and her feeling but shouting out loud and you hearing it is not fine. You should talk about it with her.
Idk, you could be just a rebound
1. How long ago was ex & how long have you been together?
2. Have you discussed where you are in your relationship & short/long term goals?
3. That’s shitty for someone you are in a current relationship with to express their pining over an ex, I am sorry for what you are going through. To overhear that conversation from someone you care about likely crosses a boundary in your relationship – make that clear.
4. Put yourself first, communicate your feelings & expectations.
It doesn’t sound like your partner is prioritizing your relationship and/or you, sometimes that’s how it goes and it’s a hard learning experience. Lean on your support network and get an unbiased opinion from someone you trust, if you are able.
Relationship with someone not emotionally over their ex is a bad idea. You will only get hurt if you stay with her.
She is obviously not over her ex. What do you think she would do if he called her tomorrow telling her he wanted to be back together? My bet is she would drop you like yesterdays news paper. Is that someone you want to continue in the relationship? Developing deeper feelings for? Or building a life with? Knowing all it takes to have it crumble is a phone call from another guy. Not saying you should leave. Just saying think about what kind of relationships you are in. What she means to you and what you mean to her. Being someone’s second option is a horrible feeling
That feels like you are a second choice, not a nice place to be, i wouldn’t.