Honestly I really don’t know what’s wrong with me
About 2 months ago I noticed something was wrong, there was no desire for sex, on ovulation week I wasn’t crazily horny and worse of all I stopped having orgasms, it’s like I just shut down.
At the time I blamed it to exhaustion since me and my boyfriend were moving in and it was in a city 500km away from everything we ever knew. And at the time we had loads of fights and grievances.
I kept blaming it to exhaustion even though we had already moved and I was about to start uni. It doesn’t make sense why I wouldn’t want something that I love and enjoy and it pains me when we have sex and I barely orgasm, especially after being used to having multiples in multiple rounds.
Trying to find a solution I thought maybe I was still angry at my boyfriend, cause when I’m angry I normally don’t want any physical contact but it couldn’t stand cause we still cuddled a lot. I thought maybe it’s the change and since I’m not used to sharing a place, also thought that maybe one or two of his habit grossed me out, but non makes logic sense and explains why I can’t even orgasm when I masturbate.
Now anytime my boyfriend suggests sex I make excuses and just want to hide, it’s becoming something exhausting to do, sometimes I’ll be so into it, so close to orgasm and nothing. And I know it’s not my boyfriend failing cause he’s made me orgasm from the first time we had sex. I know my boyfriend won’t say but it’s out a wedge in our relationship cause he also has a high libido.
Thanks in advance for the help and for any errors.
3 comments
You’ve gotten yourself into a depression cycle…
Stop thinking about sex and step away from anything like this for now.
You need to work on yourself, why are you feeling so frustrated, what’s causing your to have a low sex drive, do you not feel things for him as much, there is so much it could be.
To rule out hormonal imbalance I’d go to your doctors and have them checked, but usually it’s just because you’ve gotten comfy, maybe dress up go out in town have a drink or two and let it progress.
But I’d strongly say you need to work on yourself before thinking sex is the issue OP.
You’re probably just stressed! And now you’re putting pressure on yourself which amplifies it more. I’d have a convo with your man and just tell him you’re stress is affecting your libido, you want to get back to where you were at before but it might take some time adjusting to your new life. If you have time try doing some fun things together (exploring your new area, fun dates, etc) and everything else should come naturally.
You don’t feel emotionally safe with him. The fights aren’t actually resolved and the grievances haven’t been aired. It’s easy to cuddle because you are hoping that things will get better and ‘fix’ themselves, it’s a shred of intimacy, but it can still feel safer to be closed off sexually. Resentment kills libido over time. Listen to your body, it is incredibly in tune with how you may be feeling that might not be conscious to you yet. People who complain why their sex life has changed are always clueless to the fact that their sex life is only a symptom.