My husband was declared redundant a little over a year ago. He was working on starting a new business/ passion project. But he’s barely putting any effort towards it. Every day he will maybe share one or two posts about his product online and then plays video games for the rest of the day. I try to encourage him and give him advise on what to do to bring in sales. He listens and says he will implement it but he never does. My current workplace is very toxic and I have been looking for work elsewhere but the job market is really tough. I recently had a rough week at work and I was very close to quitting. When I talked to
Him about it, he said that I cannot quit and I have to press on because we need money. I am exhausted and I make just enough for us to get by (we don’t have kids, but he wants them and I don’t want to have kids when he’s seemingly bordering depression). He has refused to go for therapy and I even tried to get his friends and family to talk to him but he says he doesn’t need any help. I have been thinking about leaving him because as much as I try to encourage him, he needs to show some initiative/ drive. I feel like he no longer cared about all the plans we made. I know leaving him would break him, and I love him but I recognise that I cannot fix this alone. What would be the best way to go about it?
5 comments
I’d just leave him. You have talked to him already. He says he will fix it. He didn’t. There is absolutely no way to force him.
if he isnt clinically depressed and isnt prepared to work to support his family i.e you then he can move out. You cannot sacrifice your mental health and wellbeing for someone who doesnt care about you. You are not an emotional support animal.
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I’ve been in a similar situation before, but with a child together.
Listen, if he’s that depressed, then he needs to go apply for SSDI, and then be able to bring that income into the household.
My logic is, if they aren’t getting disability then they’re not disabled; but either way they need to contribute financially. Whether they work or not. Not really my prerogative. I just care about the finances being split equitably in the house.
Time to take a shot, or whatever you need to do to work up the courage, and tell him extremely bluntly, and directly that either he starts contributing to his share of the finances or he’s out on his ass.
Leave. He needs to figure out how to function as a grown-ass adult, and you would be doing him a huge favor in the long run by forcing the issue.
If you don’t act, you’re going to have a useless man-baby on your hands for the rest of your life. Your love for him cannot possibly survive having that kind of a burden.