My bf told me he was planning to sleep with other women and I told him it would make me sad so I hope he doesn’t. He ended up not doing it but got upset saying that we hadn’t had sex yet and that most guys would break up with a girl who hasn’t slept with them by the third date.
I kind of think he only heard this from some players in his social circle and that it’s not true, cause it sounds very scummy.
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If you’re not ok with it than break up, but yes it sounds scummy af but I’m also more on the old school side. I think feelings and personality > all.
Just ghost this dude. any arbitrary time to have sex is bullshit.
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how could 3 dates be enough to decide to be boyfriend/girlfriend? Seems kinda red flag
Any guy will “break up” with whoever they don’t want to be with, or act in ways that lead to breaking up. that much is super straightforward and the answer to most questions on this sub but it’s a hard truth for most of us women to accept.
If he can’t stand to be with you anymore or loses interest in you because you aren’t having sex when he wants, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or even him (if that’s his preference)…it means he doesn’t like you enough or take you seriously as a partner, and only ever wanted one thing from you in the first place to make the connection worthwhile for him.
That’s manipulation. Leave.
Move on. He sounds like an ass.
How is he your bf when you haven’t even been on 3 dates yet
The responses you’re getting that yes, it’s normal for a man to break up with you if you haven’t had sex by the third date are wild. This is why so many people have terrible experiences dating.
No, this is not normal. I’m sure there are men who do this (clearly, based on the responses you’re getting) but this is not “normal.” That says a lot more about the guy than it does about you and I would break up with him and find someone who treats you with respect. Anyone who has arbitrary rules like that or who expects sex from you, especially so early on and on their own time table, is a big red flag.
You want someone who interacts with you as a person. Who takes you as you are. If they have an idea of how dating “should” go and are mad at you for not living up to it – you dodged a bullet. Find a partner who respects whatever timeline feels good to you and definitely don’t accept anyone who tries to pressure you into doing anything you’re not comfortable with. There are plenty of men out there who will not demand sex from you immediately and be able to see you as a whole person.
(Edit – typo)
That’s pretty dumb. I love when you hold out for like 6 dates before doing that
Sweetie, from one woman to another, kick him to the kerb. You have sex when you want to, not when you are coerced to. And please, please (this isn’t just advice for him, but all future partners) do NOT EVER send nudes.
He’s lying to manipulate you. No normal man would break up with a girl if she didn’t put out after three dates. He sounds like a jerk and you could do better.
You have sex when you’re ready to have sex. Period. That might be the third date or the 30th date. Stop letting guys pressure you into having sex when you’re not ready because of some stupid dumbass rules that people have created that mean nothing.
You get to determine your timetable. But he doesn’t sound like a very nice person.
If he liked you he could easily of waited until your ready. Why lower yourself to his level.
He’s guilt tripping you into sleeping with him. You have standards and want to be respected. keep your head up high and walk away proud
He’s your boyfriend after only 3 dates?
He’s your boyfriend but you are not having sex yet?
How old are you guys? This sounds like high school….
Why are you boyfriend/ girlfriend with someone that you haven’t been on three dates with?
Why are you boyfriend/ girlfriend with someone you haven’t set boundaries with?
How old are you?
3 dates and already bf/gf? Yikes.
Sex isn’t something that women either give to or withhold from men. It’s an activity that two people **choose** to engage in together. If you’re not comfortable having sex yet, don’t. If he wants to stop going out over that he can, but he’s not the representative of all men.
My fiancé and I had sex within 5 hours of first meeting, and I’ve dated other women where we waited 4-5 dates before having sex. In every case, you have to go what both people are comfortable with.
Hmmm lot of back and forth in the comments. My two cents , for him to leverage sex as a break up that’s douche move on him. But also there is something along the lines of sexual compatibility. My buds been in situations where them and the girl dated for a month and after the sex he was completely turned off. I think that guy is just scummy lol but there are guys that want to know if there is sexual compatibility.
You should probably get rid of this guy as it’s clear he only wants one thing.
Why do you want to date someone who uses sex to manipulate you?? Invest in therapy PLEASE
You sound young, if you’re not ready DONT, you don’t have to sleep with him to keep him, and if you think that, he’s not the one worth keeping around.
My first long-term relationship we did not had sex before 3months .. and we stayed together 2 years
My second long-term relationship we waited weeks and saw each other everyday !
He is not that serious sorry
And follows too much his friends’ advice
What is this ? How did you not get the ick?
He’s an ass.
If he’s already telling you he’s gonna go fuck someone else if you don’t give it up what’s to stop him in a year from doing the same thing. Besides that’s one he’ll of a red flag for manipulation