So we recently started seeing each other, going through our “first dates”. Yesterday, after the restaurant, he invited me to his place for drinks but I told him that I didn’t want to walk home late and cold (30 min walk). I expected him to bring up Uber but I guess he took it as a “no” so we said goodbye and I left.
Now, he invited me for a movie night this weekend and I don’t know how to tell him that it’s still the same problem: he lives far away, and surely I can walk but not at 1-2am. And I am not comfortable for paying for my Uber too because (both ways especially) as 1). I’m budgeting and 2). it isn’t manly in my eyes.
How do I bring up the commute again?
Edit: he invited me to his place for “Netflix and chill” type of thing, not cinema
4 comments
I would talk to him about it being a logistical thing. If you’re interested in the guy and you think there is potential, you might need to work this into your budget. But at the same time you could ask him to pick you up/drop you off or both. I would start by asking him if he can pick you up so you’re free to Uber back if need be. If things are going well and you’re comfortable with him ask him if he’d drive you home. That said, it’s give and take in the long run, so don’t expect him to always pick you up and drop you off.
I’m confused. Did early dating protocols change somehow ? It’s been a minute for me
You are going to a movie on an early date – I would imagine he picks you up and drops you off ? Or possibly you meet him there but surely he sees you home afterwards. What guy lets his date find her own way home after the date? Like Are you supposed to make sure HE gets home safely? And if you end up at his place afterwards, regardless if it’s for a quick nightcap or breakfast the next morning – he makes sure you get home – 28 year old guys don’t ask their dates to take the walk of shame like they did a decade earlier. He really should know this basic stuff by now.
I would say no to these types of dates if neither of you has a car. Or only meet at restaurants/events near your home.
Or meet earlier in the day so walking is an option.
I’m fine with reason 1 and that’s totally acceptable to say. You’re on a budget and cannot afford Ubers both ways. Why not suggest he comes to wherever you are for movie night, assuming you have a cinema near you?
Reason 2 is unpleasant gender stereotype BS. It’s not manly?! Are we in the 1900s again? Is it expected he pays for everything else on these dates because he’s a man? If so, gross.