I’m a 28F and I have never been in a relationship before. I had some serious mental health issues that I had to deal with first before I felt ready to date. Instead I spent my twenties going to school and graduating with 2 bachelors degrees and a masters degree and moving to a new city to start my career. Once my mental health and confidence improved I felt ready to date. I have been going to social events in the city and I’m on Bumble. So far this year I have met a few guys and gone on a few dates but nothing really has come about them. I’m scared that men will not want to date me due to my inexperience. I know I’m late to the dating game but I really want to meet someone special and form a connection with them. I’ve never been the kind of girl who was interested in casual dating or sex.

I know it takes time to meet someone who you are compatible with but i am literally the most impatient person lol.

27 comments

  1. I don’t think you have to worry and believe patience is the key. I can imagine you get frustrated when you feel like you are finally emotionally available, but it’s not happening yet.

    Experience doesn’t matter when there is a real and good connection. It is possible it makes it even more special!

  2. New relationships are a bit like being an explorer. Sure, more experienced explorers will know some commonly applied tricks and things, but every exploration is still new. It comes with its own challenges and lessons. Part of the joy of it is the joy of discovery.

    Everybody is different. And so every relationship is different. What works in one won’t necessarily work in others. Even when it comes to sex, the best skill you can have is the openness to discover what your new partner likes and doesn’t like.

    I’ve dated both experienced and inexperienced women, and I can’t really say one was better or worse than the other. The biggest issue, which you tend to find in people with less experience (but I’ve also seen in people with a lot), is a lack of confidence.

    But keep in mind that not all experience is good experience. This often gets left out of the “practice makes perfect” maxim. That’s only true if you practice correctly and learn from your mistakes. Plenty of people with experience who think they’re hot shit, but their form sucks and they’ve got bad habits they’ve never unlearned.

    Recognize your strengths and weaknesses. What you bring to the table and what you can work on. And bring an open mindedness and a willingness to learn and discover. Be confident in yourself.

    You’ll be fine.

  3. I have this same wonder in the opposite situation, and I’ve rationalized it basically as… I personally find it precious and worth cherishing when someone has never dated before or only has had like one previous partner ever. I would want to date someone with the same feelings towards that. Hopefully you find someone who puts it into the same value framework as you do.

  4. I did do FWB and I want a committed relationship. I’m (29F), I’m almost 30, I’ve never had a Boyfriend, I’ve had sex with 4 men, and I was a virgin until I was 28. I still hope to find a long-term monogamous Boyfriend. That’s what I’ve always wanted since I was 13. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to get what I want.

    Yes, I was offered FWB and I took it and I don’t regret it. I wish I hadn’t lost his friendship when he got a girlfriend. I wish the man I lost virginity to before I had the FWB had made more of an effort with all his talk about wanting me… we’ve seen each other a grand total of 4 times.

    Maybe I just scream “I’m only good enough for casual sex”, even though I don’t dress provocatively or behave in an overly sexual manner.

  6. If you guys know that you don’t got that many experiences, you will have more guys coming to you and some will come to you too strong

  7. You are not late to the dating game. But your inexperience makes you an easy target for manipulative predatory assholes.

    Why, you might ask.

    Because you don’t know how to recognise the red flags.

    Your education indicates that you are likely a smart girl.

    I recomend to read up on how to recognise red flags in a person and how to read if somebody might be a potential narcissist or a Psychopath.

    Studies show.

    In the U.S., there is one Psychopath per 100 people.

    In Europe, 1 in 200 people.

    Stay safe, take it slow, be wise about it, and do not allow anyone to manipulate you. The moment they come out with some sort of emotional blackmail, shut that shit down and walk away.

  9. Just try to live in the moment. When you meet someone new, it’s new for both of you. Run with it. Never think what about my past/his past unless you’re talking about criminal records.
    Even then, might not matter

  10. Most guys don’t give a shit lol – you’re good. The way you’re describing yourself, you sound like more of a catch/keeper than a red flag.

    Good luck!

  11. Someones past doesnt define who they are, just how you handle things in the present. Your inexperience in relationships may deter some people. I think you should find out why you havent though and try to work on that

  14. You are assuming the wrong problem is working against you. A lack of relationship experience really isn’t a turn off for us. That’s typically a way women judge men, not vice versa.

    Your bigger issue is a reluctance to engage in casual dating and sex. How do you expect things to get started? There is no better way to start a relationship than by starting things casually. It’s the best way to get our attention. Sure, your success rate will be low, but that doesn’t matter. You cast a wide net, but you only need to catch one that you don’t have to throw back.

  16. Yeah experience doesn’t mean too much to me either way. If someone can wisely apply their experience it can be a benefit but I would definitely date a completely inexperienced woman who if we seemed s great match.

  19. I’m sure it would put some guys off. But as a guy, I would have no problem dating someone who hasn’t dated before. My only real worry would be that it wouldn’t last due to you feeling like you’re missing out on other people. Which I’ve heard happens quite a bit.

  20. I find that almost every American is on some antidepressants or meds in today’s world. That’s why marjuana is also selling like crazy. If you are doing great on your meds, then why say anything?
    If you find a guy that is going to work out in the dating world, then approach the subject . My guess is that most guys that you meet are probably on some type of meds, too. Good Luck!

  21. I think you’ll be fine. A person who genuinely loves you will accept you as you are, whether you have experience or not

  24. There are some amazing men out there. I was single all of my 20s due to mental health issues. I’m not in my first adult relationship. I was upfront from the beginning about my lack of experience and my mental health. I let him decide if he wanted to proceed from there. He has been nothing short of amazing. He loves me for me and knew exactly what he was getting into. He’s the first one who’s stayed. I had to go thru many let downs but i finally found my person. You can’t give up hope.

  27. Short answer yes guys will still want to date you, the challenge is are you two compatible for each other? That is the main question, you’ll meet the jerks, the jocks, the nerds, you just need to find out why? Why are you dating someone? Is it to ultimately have a family? Find your likes, your dislikes, your pet peeves you’ll find someone

    I myself am dating someone who I am her first serious relationship and we’re taking our time with it and she said she’s dated or tried to date others but it didn’t work out and she has had creeps on dating apps n stuff, and it’s a new thing for her with me although it is a bit of a challenge for us being a bit apart distance wise (it takes me about a hour to get to her place depending on traffic) but we’re making it work we’ve been together for almost 8 months now, and we’ve been planning on the holidays lately so yeah you’ll find someone

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