Everyone wants to share their successes and victories, but most of us have to go through a ton of failures and defeats to get there. What’s been your greatest failure and how did it help you grow as a man?

28 comments

  1. I think my greatest failure is my lack of confidence which has held me back from taking risks in order to achieve – or fail – at things outside of my comfort zone.

    Something I’ve not yet overcome, so not yet sure how it’ll help me grow, but hopefully I’ll get there one day.

  2. I spent 4 months at Air Traffic Control Academy in Oklahoma City. Top 3 in my class of 20 or so. I needed like a 60% on the third final examination. I didn’t make it, was escorted out by security (as is tradition. I think some people don’t take it well lol). Instead of starting a sweet (stressful) career, I went home. Got my old job back. I ended up marrying my then-gf. We have a dog, bought a home. We’re happy.

  3. I interviewed for a really great job at my company. I prepared for weeks. It went very well. On paper, I was the perfect candidate. The hiring manager chatted me and said “That was a great interview. We’re all really excited.”

    And then a month went by. And then I was rejected. And then I found out they gave it to someone who was, imo, the laziest, dumbest motherfucker in the whole department. I suspect she met criteria that I cannot meet because there is no other conceivable reason. I asked the hiring manager for feedback and he said “I’m so sorry. It was out of my hands.” It was very frustrating.

    But whatever. I went out and got another job that pays better. No point in hanging around after that.

  5. Working 10 years to build my business from scratch and fuck all money to eventually selling for almost $1mill then making a bad decision on the next business venture and losing 3 quarters of it.

  6. My greatest failure would be sacrificing my career for relationships. Or maybe not leaving my shitty country when I had the opportunity to (which also killed my career).

  7. My last relationship.

    I probably would have stuck it out and lived a horrible life had she not moved away.

  9. investing in wrong people eventually teaches you about humanity to distinguish which people actually worth your time and which don’t

  11. My marriage

    I tried, I learnt a lot but I’m damned glad it failed because I’d otherwise be as miserable now as I was then

    When I told her that I didn’t want to be married to her any more, the weight fell away from my shoulders and pretty much everything in my life improved immediately

  12. I fel out with the directors of a company and they paid me off with 2k in 1990 which I used to set up own company and sold for a few million 16 yrs later

  13. My STEM studies. There was a lot of pressure from family to continue tradition. I tried, just didn’t felt it, stopped attending around end of second year.
    Some fields were great, some I hated, most of them were just meh chore. I imagined myself doing this stuff for another years and something broke.
    Of course there was a lot of drama, “I lost two years”, etc
    Switched to business, found my thing.
    Now stuff I learned about engineering help me a lot in my current job.

  14. when the value of my portfolio crashed. After it happened, I’m cautious and paranoid about all investments

  15. Man, I got a few.

    I went from playing video games 12-14 hours a day while only going out to shove shit in my face, not having a drivers license or GED, and broke living with my mother in my younger 20’s, to getting in to the trades and being more successful than I ever thought possible. Even more so, this career isn’t for me, but it showed me what is possible, and I’m enrolling into school and am going to chase my dreams even further.

    The laziness and excuses caught up to me, and I was gaining weight, etc. Stated focusing on that and now I incorporate fitness in my life and it’s amazing. Makes all the stresses of life easier to handle.

    The second thing would be to be in and watch a relationship I gave everything I had emotionally eventually crumble. While I don’t believe it to be solely my fault, it was a valuable life lesson.

    I doubted having marriage, children, or love in my life ever. I questioned the existence of love in general. While she wasn’t a very good person, her and her children showed me that there are such amazing things to look forward to, and eventually, I can have those too in a healthy manor. I’m excited for the day to meet someone again and apply the same effort. Hopefully, the next person sees me for what and who I am, and appreciates it.

  16. Great question .
    My life of avoidance has been my biggest regret and failure . Now in my 40s with a woman I love , I’m trying so hard to wrestle control back from my doubts

  17. Drinking for 20 years.

    But, sober for 6! Quit cold turkey – absolute hell, best thing ever!

  18. First marriage!! Now I’m happy with a family with second wife who is a great mother and wife.

  20. My past breakups, I’ve learned to not put women on a pedestal. It caused me to get overprotective and over emotional. I’ve learned to balance the two. And focus on myself first.

    Now I’m happily married with a little girl.

  21. Im my dads only biological son and I haven’t made him proud. I’m 19 so still have time to but I haven’t achieved anything at all in my life and I struggle to leave the house with my anxiety so I feel like I can’t progress right now. All I want to do is make my family proud of me but I’m useless right now.

    Ive always been told by friends and family Ive always had huge potential and I just haven’t met it yet and it doesn’t look like I will. That pains me

  22. Got dumped by gf of a few years. Dang what do I do next, not college material. Decided to take a night course to meet women though I was a lousy student. Then took another and another. Went full time, graduated, met a girl, got married, got a masters, house and kids…so step 1 – get your heart broken.

  23. I was invited to a threesome. I had to decline since I had a parade and concert I had to perform in that day. There was no way I was going to get chewed out for missing no matter how tempted I was. Well guy that they found to replace me apparently had trouble performing while I was getting cuddled by my team because it was fucking cold at the parade.

  25. I would say.. losing the people I was to attached to… it really gave me a lot of time to focus on my self and helped me filtering my “friends” group

  26. ending up homeless, because without I would have never got into my career field. and I love my job.

  27. Failing to make enough money to be able to save for a house and was just stagnant financially for a few years. Changed my job and am now on my way – albeit it will still be a while, but I’m slowly getting there.

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