I cannot make my husband cum when I’m on top. I will usually do it my way and have my orgasm and then try to go faster for him but I can never physically go fast or hard enough for him. He will end up grabbing my hips and doing the work for me anyway. Or he will let me cum on top and then have me another way to finish.
I feel bad because he knows exactly how to make me orgasm with PIV and we will often cum at the same time even. But when I’m on top it’s like I get mine and then he was to make himself cum.
I’ve asked him to instruct me what I need to do. But he doesn’t really know how to explain. He always ends up trying to instruct me for a minute and then taking over.
I just want some advice. What does it feel like for the guy when she’s on top? And some tips for me to try and see if he likes it
37 comments
Well u need 2
Stick a finger by his ass.
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Guy here–I have come when my wife is on top but it’s rare. Bouncing on a dick is tough on the knees and quads, I imagine! She likes to sort of grind back and forth, or lean forward and sort of bounce forward and backward, but those motions simply don’t get me there (although they feel amazing). What does get me there is when she sits straight up and bounces up and down in place, especially at a high frequency. But bouncing up and down tires her out really fast, which makes sense!
Sorry, I don’t really have good advice for you–big fan of girl on top for the visuals and the relaxation, but it takes a pretty athletic partner to ride the guy on the bottom to completion!
It’s fireworks when my guy grabs my hips and takes over like that. I love riding his dick and playing my sexy game. The tease is to arouse him, get him to the brink and push him over the edge. Any kind of losing control is it for me, cumming, jackhammerring from below (the holy grail, ladies), grabbing my hips and rocking me senseless on his dick.
It sounds like you’re both having an immense time.
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Edit:
Oh. IF you’re determined for him to cum with you on top, and I’m here for this energy, girl, twerk on his dick. It’s all in the hips, and if you get into a a good rhythm and groove, it provides that high frequency bounce that’ll have him cumming hard for you.
Stroke dick with hand and lube. Suck cock till he he is near to cumm. Ride him. Whisper in his ear how much you like his cock. Breath hard and ask him if he likes it.
Lean back and give tension on his dick in your pussy. Move slowly up and down just before it slips out. Use your fingers to clasp his dick while he is inside you. Show him rubbing your clit… there are so much variations to bring him over the wall.
29F here. Bouncing up and down while on top is really exhausting, I almost never do it. What I do is alternate between two positions. One is where I am almost parallel with him, facing each other and I do some kind of twerking on him. On the other, I am perpendicular and do some kind of grinding on him (sometimes he touches my clit or my breasts while I am doing this and it feels great). Alternating makes it less exhausting and he cums every time. The twerking movement does the trick; sometimes he even pushes me up to the grinding movement so he lasts a little longer. While being parallel he sometimes grabs my hips and does the job which is really hot. But all this alternating helps us catch our breath so we can move really fast while each one is doing their job. Hope I am making sense, English is not my native language.
Is he around 30 years old? Does he prefer to be really close to you? Does he prefer to be in control? If just one of these describes him then it’s not you. Its him. It’s his preference. His desire to be in control or to be closer will come first. You need to tell him to relax and just lay there.
I noticed that when my wife was on top, she would ‘stroke’ me but the friction was not something that would ever make me come. I’ve shown her how to do it to make it easier to come. She finds it tiring.
Are you stroking with your hips, or squatting on it, bouncing? Huge difference in how it feels.
My partner has difficulty cumming when I’m on top – I think part of it is he prefers controlling the pace, etc. I like slowly rolling my hips and grind against him, a sensation that I enjoy and can get me off, but for him it’s not enough. He still enjoys it, so we just switch positions when I’m done. He may need to control the pace while you’re in top – a previous lover would grab my hips and thrust up into me. (That felt amazing too, but completely different sensation).
Typical with her on top, it isn’t fast enough for long enough to cum. Angle is okay.
I do love the grind because one of the best parts of sex is seeing your partner lose their sanity for a little. In terms of sensations though it’s a little lacking.
What I find is a good combo is if you can grind back far enough so that it starts to push him out of you before you rock forward, it will keep giving him that stroking sensation he needs and the grinding sensation you need. You may not orgasm simultaneously, but he’ll be a lot closer to orgasm by the to me you’ve cum so you may be able to get him to pop with some vigorous up and down strokes before your legs give out.
Is this a problem? Sounds like both of you are cumming and having fun
My experience, as someone who both rides and pegs, is that it’s much harder to bounce at a high frequency than it is to thrust at a high frequency.
I can thrust fast enough to make someone cum while pegging them, but while riding they’ve always gotta take over the tempo to finish.
Nothing wrong with you, I think it’s just how the pelvis is shaped. Easier to thrust than bounce
I usually take control to come while my wife is on top. It’s actually my favorite position. Men are more visual and it’s the best view in the house.
I rarely cum from energetic bouncing. But long, steady, controlled strokes with lots of eye contact work. It’s like she milks me!
Great advice in this post. Hope it works out. Keep us updated lol
The glans is the most sensitive part of a man’s penis. I highly suggest that you try and concentrate on that part while you ride him when you want him to come fast. It might require for you to stand a little bit higher than usual and try a bit to find the right pace but it definitely changes everything in my own experience.
How is he with doggy? If good, try a reverse cowgirl. As for what works when you are on top, I always found seductiveness and build up work wonders. Rather than just aim for “how fast can I fuck you” do that little thing you women can do where you kind of curve up and down – it hits that spot just below the head.
I’ve seen some comments that I agree with, the “twerking” so to speak. I don’t exactly lay my body down on his, but usually I’ll grab the headboard or at least use the wall to brace myself. Then I use my hips because it’s extremely tiring to try to just bounce up and down on a dick.
I will say it took me a while and a loving partner to figure out how to master it. The first and second boyfriends I had, I was young and naive. Then I met a man who worshipped me and allowed me to try different things. After that, it was over. Ive been with over 30 partners since then, and I’ve not met one that I can’t make cum from being on top. You just gotta keep practicing.
I actually had an ex from 7 years ago reach out to me about a year ago and let me know that he hasn’t come across another person who’s been able to make him feel like I did when we had sex. I call that a huge compliment, and of course I fucked him again. It was a treat for us both. 😂
let me try
Yeah, it’s harder to when you’re on top.
Lean forward supporting yourself on hands and knees. Have your shoulders back, put your tits in his face and twerk. Might take some practice, idk, but I’ve never had a partner not cum from this. Ass slapping the huevos is a plus btw.
I appreciate this question a woman on top is very very sexy..
Head never fails.
My fav position.
I’ve found that up and down motions generally are unstatisfying, but forward and back hip motions are the ticket.
Disclaimer: his dick could work differently
One of the best ways to make me go to the point of no return is hearing my girl cum or feel. See and hear her enjoying herself.
It is harder for me to cum with her on top. But i typically have to contribute to the motion and she has to enjoy herself.
Maybe relax and just enjoy yourself and let the connection do the rest.
Ps. I love when she rides me even when i don’t cum. Feels and looks amazing. But I prefer doing the work in missionary and from behind.
I think it is reasonable to say that not everyone can orgasm in all positions and that is ok. Likely he enjoys you on top and that is fun, so do that for a while and then change positions.
Have you had him thrust while you’re on top? My wife and I do that a lot where she gets on top and does her stuff to get her off and I’ll thrust while she’s on top and it works like any other method or position.
When my wife is grinding while on top I don’t really feel much but I try and time any sort of movement I can do to make her movements more pleasurable for her but I never think of it as her getting hers then working on me. It’s a sliding scale and I always try and make it more like 60/40 her.
That being said we always start with me doing foreplay stuff on her to either get her off before PIV or get her as close as I can to orgasm so she’s not left hanging
Try slowing down and angles. Go as slow as you possibly can. Feel every ridge and inch. Then start trying different angles, grinding, etc. Watch his reaction throughout this experiment. For me, there’s two things that make me cum hardest, seeing her genuine pleasure and there being a build up and not just a jackhammering. Just play with it like you’re doing an experiment and don’t race for the end. The journey is the experience
I’ll start by saying that what works for some people doesn’t always work for others. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel good, just that it may not be the thing that brings them to orgasm, and that’s totally fine. I love having a partner on top of me, but it can be difficult for me to cum that way. That being said, what has worked for me sometimes in the past, and may be worth a shot if you haven’t tried it already, is when my partner gets on top of me, leans forward over me, and raises her hips a little in the air. This allows me to thrust upwards into her at whatever speed and pace feels best for me. Doesn’t always work, but it does allow me to do deep, complete thrusts, which is the kind of feeling that is most likely to work for me. Hope this helps, happy fucking!
When my wife is on top if it’s taking too long for her she’ll finger my ass and that speeds things up.
I get my man to cum super fast with this every time:
Lean forward, low enough that you can kiss him. Move only your hips up and down (kind of like you’re twerking, like another comment said). You can bounce up and down really fast or roll your hips slowly and inch up & down his cock. You can do this reverse cowgirl too, just lean down towards his feet. It’s the best of both worlds because you don’t get tired from having to support all your weight while you bounce, but he still gets the stroking motion he needs to cum.
That being said, unless he has said anything about it bothering him that he doesn’t cum with you on top, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It sounds like you both enjoy the sex and are both getting off, that’s what matters.
Add another stimuli? Grab his balls, play with his nipples, play no touchy.
Personally, the only way I can cum with her on top is by grabbing her ass/hips and bouncing her up and down at the right speed and rhythm. I don’t think there’s anything she could do to replicate that feeling, it’s the same when I have her on her back and I’m bouncing her off the bed. Sometimes you just can’t hit the right spot the right way, and that’s okay. It sounds like at the end of the day you’re both being satisfied, which is more than a lot of couples can say. One thing I can think is maybe restraining him so he can’t take control when he gets frustrated, that way if he wants to cum, he has to tell you exactly how to get him there.
Pack your ego away. You’re focused on something that isn’t a problem. You cum. He cums. End of story.
Speaking for myself, it’s normal for me to take control in order to finish. It doesn’t mean the pussy is bad, or that I’m not attracted to the woman, it’s just conditioning. He, like I, may be service oriented, i.e., ensure your woman is satisfied first, then figure out yours.
Again, this is more of an ego play than it is a problem.