Over two years ago in Sep of 2021 (then 25m), I was active in the dating scene. I was very discouraged after going on dates with around 10 different women that year. None of them made it past a 5th date until September.
I was close to taking a break and had just gone on an average first date with a women who I met on Bumble. We had drinks at a local restaurant, she was nice and we had good conversation, but didn’t feel an instant spark.
I debated not going on a second date as there was no instant connection, but decided that she was kind and also seemed to have similar life goals.
If I hadn’t gone on that second date, I don’t know where my life would be today. We ended up connecting really well on the 2nd date, she/I both started opening up more, she was an excellent communicator and on each subsequent date, I trusted her more and more.
2 years later, I couldn’t imagine life without her. I moved in last summer and I know she’s my life partner. She’s funny, kind, has similar life goals. And every day I fall in love with her more and more.
So if you’re debating on taking that second date with someone you didn’t feel an instant connection with. Do it.
12 comments
Nice to hear positive stories on this sub, good for you.
Sadly for the majority of people (specifically women) if they don’t feel that instant “vibe” (I fuckin’ hate that term) with a guy he’s instantly removed from her pool of suitors. The concept of getting to know a person over time is lost upon most these days. Congrats for finding the rare unicorn…but for most of us we’ll never had such an experience in dating.
It’s always good to keep in mind that a “first date” with somebody you’ve met online is very different event from a “first date” with a coworker or friend. Expectations should be lower and tbh you’re probably wasting your time with online dating if you’re looking for the same level of butterflies the first time meeting somebody from Bumble or Hinge as you might get from the first time spending time 1:1 with somebody you already know and already have a mutual rapport established with.
Bold of you to assume I can even get a first date with anyone.
Noted! Thanks for the advice! What a great story
Yes! I always tell my clients to give an imperfect first date a 2nd chance for this same reason!
Wow, your story is really inspiring! It just goes to show that sometimes love takes time to grow
I’m glad you took that chance and found your life partner.
Remember people, we’re talking about average, not god-awful.
I mean, that’s how most things work. Dates should be a way to find something you’ll love about someone, not an opportunity to pick their flaws.
Happy for the both of youuu!! 💓
Thank you for your advice it’s really helpful. I’m those kind of people who’s very nervous on the first date and it’d be great if someone gave me a second chance haha.
Honestly I think most people give up too early or get discouraged easily which makes them lose potentially beautiful relationships/ friendships. Being scared will only keep you in the same position you’ve always been in.