I (25 M) believe that my personality annoys people. I have a very happy and excited personality. I like to talk and my voice is naturally loud. I always have the best intentions and give others the opportunity to speak and wait my turn. I guess it’s like when you’re dog is excited to see you when you get home and the tail is working overtime.
I have tried to purposely be quieter and say less. It’s difficult and I feel like I’m fighting myself. The ironic thing is if I do this people start asking questions assuming something is wrong.
I don’t want to force myself to not be my true self, because I don’t like forcing myself to act a very specific way. The flip side is I don’t want to annoy people and I want to be respected.
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I think I have this same issue. I am either too loud or too quiet. I just smile and nod or wave when i can, lol
Im quiet and find the same.
so what! we’re all gonna die one day, be yourself unapologetically… “intentions”… all that matters
Try voice lessons and you can be yourself in a quieter form that you like and others can respect more easily. Wishing you happy interactions 💡❤️🙏
What makes you think people find you annoying? Is this something someone said to you?
It’s important not to be too hasty in drawing conclusions without evidence. You could be right about people finding you annoying or this could be a mistake.
My girlfriend is like this – always thinking she’s annoying. I’ll spend my entire life telling her she’s not annoying and that I love her personality.
A lot of people would find you refreshing, myself probably included.
One suggestion is to tell people “sometimes I overdo it and I’m not always aware of it”. And then if you think you’re being a bit too much just ask “am I being too much?”. Be aware they won’t always tell you but might just quietly disappear. Most people won’t mind this. You can also say “I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea haha” – because it’s true, you’re not! But there are a bunch of people who will find you great.
Asking for feedback is a great way to get more of a sense of what works socially. Try not to overdo it though. There are other cues you could learn to pick up – standing back, responding with short words, looking away, saying they have to go, looking at their watch, asking you when you have to be back at work etc. One of these on its own isn’t conclusive but two or three are a dead giveaway that you’re going on too much!
Have you ever heard of the man who played the violin on the subway in newyork and got like $30 and some claps for the total time he was there turns out hes the best violinist in the world, point being you are just around the weong people, go where you are appreciated, i love seeing happy and excited people it makes me happy and excited we absorb energy from others maybe they dont want it? Just be yourself
that’s fucking adorable my dude
Be open about it. Ask close friends for their honest opinion. If you talk a lot in a group setting, acknowledge it like “sorry i have a tendency of talking too much. please feel free to interrupt.” If you have difficulties not saying something when it pops into your mind try to think about how to make it short and precise. Sometimes that makes you realize it’s not that important and if it is important and elaborate it probably doesn’t hurt to think about it for a second before saying it.
>I don’t want to force myself to not be my true self, because I don’t like forcing myself to act a very specific way.
I like this train of thought
>The flip side is I don’t want to annoy people and I want to be respected.
You can’t control any of this. You can’t make people not be annoyed by you and you can’t make people respect you. Leave it. Just be you.
Is it possible you’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people? How you describe yourself, you remind me of husband’s best friend. My husband is kind of quiet and loves having high energy friends to keep the convo going. Many people need a friend just like you! We all aren’t for everybody, so find your people who don’t make you feel badly about your personality and who you are. Don’t shrink yourself!
You’re just an animated speaker who needs to mature into their voice. I have a southern accent that I formed into a [more professional] southern drawl after some feedback from my boss.
• the faster you talk, the louder you become. the volume is off putting.
• Speak more slowly and ur tone will become more consistent with the subject-matter.
• Pacing encourages conversation; A feeling of being “spoken with” and not “talked at”
I tend[ed] to meander when excited, so the conversation goes nowheere. Then, [ I get the feeling ] that the listener would get upset that im wasting their time & both parties leave the conversation unfulfilled.
• Start with the end of your “spiel” first and this will help w story structure.
This was suggested to me in a workplace environment 10 years ago. I still work at the same place ( different role ) but I appreciated the opportunity to mature into my voice. I still get excited / talk fast but that behavior is reserved for folks who spend the most time w me, fortunately or unfortunately for them lol
One piece of advice stay true to yourself and let the people arround you adapt to you! If they don’t like it then too bad for them !
I’m like this, and I’m pretty sure I’ve had ADD this whole time.
If your natural vibe is happy and loud, own it. People have different tastes, and not everyone will jive with your energy, and that’s okay. Those who matter won’t mind, and might even find it charming!
Sure, there are times when you should tone it down a notch, like in libraries or during serious meetings. 😅 But don’t constantly suppress who you are just to please others. You’ll end up feeling fake and unhappy.
I could have sworn that I have written this post. Did someone tell you that you’re annoying? If no one has told you you’re annoying, maybe they don’t find you annoying at all. Or they just don’t want to tell you to your face.
Yeah the “bubbly type” is extremely annoying to me. I assume those people are either not intelligent enough to know how awful the real world is or that they’ve had a very entitled or sheltered upbringing and not had to experience real life yet. It rubs me the wrong way for sure.
I can tell you this- annoying is better than shy or quiet. People may overtly act annoyed, but I think that’s part of surface level social interaction, they don’t want you to stop being you. People start asking questions when you stop acting like that for a reason! Continue to be a beacon of positivity, i guarantee you make lives better just by existing.
Trust me it’s not you. I’m the opposite to you, and couldn’t get anyone to talk to me on their own. I always have to approach people and make conversation. People in my class talk to me if they need something. I can’t even get a good morning out of people unless I speak first. That includes my teacher. Guess I’m just not liked. It’s fine, my kids and partner love me so whatever.
A happy and excited personality. Youre one of the lucky ones. Stay yourself. Youre lucky to be that way.
Me too. Man me too
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Yeah, I get that a lot. I do know people think I’m annoying. People have said that, they’ve said I’m weird, etc. I’m very loud and I tend to speak a lot and go on a lot of tangents (and am neurodivergent) and a lot of people just don’t get that so they choose to just insult me for no reason instead