There’s this girl in my class. She is cute and funny and smart, and we out of chance sat next to eachother. We had done research together before this so we knew eachother a little.
We started texting a bunch mostly about our lives and school and whatnot. The topic of music came up, and it turns out we both play the same instrument. She invited me to have a jam session alone with her.
She also invited me to study and work on HW alone with her. That went fine and she laughed and smiled the whole time.
We had our jam session recently, and it went fantastic. We met up in a practice room and played for a couple hours. Things went great. I asked her if she would wanna hang out again soon and she said “For sure, just let me know when you’re free! If you want to do other fun activities, I’m down for it!”
Still, her texting is a bit odd. She isn’t a social media person. When we text, we talk for anywhere between 20min and an hour and then she does like little closers. She’s like “well, I’ll let you focus on your hw. Have a great rest of the day!” I am unsure how to interpret all of this.
I am unsure if I should escalate things or if she is just being friendly. How should I go about escalating things or should I not?
Tl;dr: getting closer with a girl, idk how to escalate things
3 comments
“So in all our time together you haven’t mentioned anything about a boyfriend or partner. I’m bringing it up because you’re amazing and I’d like to take you on a real date”
Or
“Hey Jen, risky question but I have to ask it – Would you like to go out with me? Like a real date, dinner and a movie or (insert things you like to do) together?” Be ready for either answer. We like to think we can still be friends after a decline but if you’ve got real feelings towards her it’ll get weird. If it’s a just a crush you want to explore and you can truly accept that she’ll be happy with someone else then staying friends is a possibility.
Wait.. you guys get texts?!
Jokes aside, I think that she doesn’t have a boyfriend since she’s pretty proactive on asking you to technically hang out with her. The little closers are actually good signs imo. I think that as girls, or at least me personally, if I text someone that I’m interested in I would actually text like “have a good day” “have a good night” “take a good rest” frequently when the convo is about to die. It’s like a subtle way to tell that I care about that person.
Dude, just tell her you like her and would like to treat her to a coffee date. Crucially, you must make it clear that this isn’t a friend vibe, but a date vibe. So something along the lines of “I have to be honest, I’ve started thinking of you as maybe more than just a good friend. I’d like to take you on a date. Cute coffee place, great cakes etc. how does that sound?”.
She’ll say yes or she’ll say no. Just be aware that if no then really you should step back a bit or risk the Friendzone. You shouldn’t be friends with a girl you are attracted to as a single guy. It’s dishonest and poor discipline. Then again, you’re already in that situation, that’s why, as a man, you must take action to see if she’s open to something romantic.