I’m 22 male. The guy I’m chatting with is 29. Wants to meet up at a winery.
At most, I feel like this would be a casual relationship if it ever turned to it, but mostly just trying to hang out with new peeps. This is just a worst (or I guess best?) case scenario. Do you think anything is weird or fishy about that?
31 comments
22 / 29 is not even close to a bad gap in general, let alone in the gay community. I would say you can want more or less.
If it’s more, you’re gonna be in a much different place and it can be hard to measure up. If it’s less who cares about any age gap?
Highly depends on the people involved. From the outside looking in, I don’t think it’s too big of a gap at all!
I’ve dated with a similar age gap. So the problem in these situations isn’t the age gap it’s the age of the youngest part. Like if you were 32 and he was 39 I don’t think there would be the potential for the same issues. For a casual relationship it can work, the issue I found was more so LTR. Different stages of life like for me I was several years removed from college and has my own place while my Ex was fresh out of college, just started her career and still living with her parents. Our timelines for what we wanted in life didn’t align. I think once you get past 25 those type of age gaps will be far less consequential.
No.
Not even slightly a problem.
No
For a casual relationship? I have exactly zero age related concerns.
If it turned more serious, I might say “make sure you have a plan for what happens if you need to move out before you move in” but even that’s more about circumstances than age.
No. You are both adults.
Once the younger person in an age gap hits 25, big gaps no longer matter (most of the time). At your age 7 years is a pretty big gap but being in the LGBT community can make that gap seem smaller if he’s recently come out or is in other ways more at the same level of experience as you. Life experience is the thing that brings trouble to age gaps. The older person has usually had way more experience (not just dating, all sorts of experience) and is in a different life stage. This can lead to power dynamic issues that are concerning.
IF you get along with this guy and don’t see any power dynamic issues or IF you know circumstances make you two much in the same life stage, then go for it.
On the other hand, if he seems like he dates young guys so he can manipulate, bully or otherwise have power over them, then tell him to fuck off.
Straight but copy paste from another post:
My bf is 8 years older than me. We started dating when I was 20 and he was 28. We’ve been together for 11 years and going strong 🤷♀️
Nah, it’s not as big a deal between dudes.
If you were a girl, there would already be 20 people in this thread talking about how the guy is definitely grooming you and so on.
Go enjoy your date, and remember to keep your drink with you.
I don’t think it is that big of an age difference. As long as both people are loving and respecting each other with consent, then what is the problem?
No. It’s fine
No
I’m 10 years older than my beautiful girlfriend. She’s 23, and I’m turning 34. We met in person and fell in love.
I’m not one to judge but I think it’s fucked up when someone is twice someone’s age.
Haha a much older friend of mine (54) married a woman who is 27 years old. So I’ll say your gap seems fine.
I was 23 when i met my ex who was 30. Same difference. Spent seven, almost 8 years together. Looking back I would never go for someone so much older now.
It is just different life chapters. That was my case. My case is not the golden rule and it is up to you to decide.
Ask yourself if it is and let you inner voice guide you. Do you want the same things in life? Are you at the same point in life? Do you have the same opinions/values? Do you share aspirations?
Yours and her opinion are the only ones that count
y’all need to grow the fuck up and stop running to the internet with everything you’re going thru. Like, what about this age gap to you is weird?
Nah im 23 and dating someone who’s almost 32 so youre good!
Half your age + 7 until they’re over 26; then I feel it’s fair game. I think that’s a good rule of thumb.
According to dating “experts,” the formula 5 x [your age] + 7 is your min dating age. 29 x .5 + 7 = 21.5.
But that expert was from Vogue, or Elle, or whatever.
I think that you should do what you want and stop worrying about what other thinks. Im 34 and my girlfriend is 19 and its the healtiest relashionship i’ve been into. Thats the most important.
Shoot no! My gf 55 and I 67 are 12 yrs
No and I think it’s kind of sad you even have to ask this.
If he was your boss or professor or in some other position of power over you, yes. But otherwise you are both young adults, and yes 29 is still relatively young.
It’s on the edge, but nah. Another year either way and maybe, but you solid as is.
No not really. Especially when you consider what most people think matters and maturity level confused with spending money
No
No. Two adults all good.
Yo I’m currently talking to a guy who’s 11 years older than me. Honestly it’s better older.. or atleast for you just be very cognizant of his intentions
No, once you’re out of college single-digit age gaps do not matter at all.