We’ve been together for 7 years. He got the dog a while after we started dating. It’s a bulldog. An extremely deformed breed. He makes awful noises, smells up the apartment with his panting, my nose gets clogged and my eyes swell up from allergies. He is also extremely dirty and no matter how much we clean the house gets dirty in a day and the floor is full of hair. I can’t even have curtains in the house because they smell. Carpets? Forgot about them a long time ago. Our door and windows are open 24/7 when I’m home or else I can’t breath, I am wearing thermal clothes indoors (we live in Sweden, it’s cold) and to make it worse – I work from home and he doesn’t.
We moved in together 3.5 years ago after getting married. I didn’t know I’d be so bothered by this dog because we were long-distance and I always had dogs myself, that I was never allergic to. (Mostly Chihuahuas).
He has been trying to rehome him for 6 months through word-of-mouth. He refuses to put him up on Facebook or on rehoming websites because he says he doesn’t want him to end up with breeders (he’s purebred and was very expensive. My husband will not take money for rehoming him).
My sleep gets ruined, I can’t focus on work, I don’t eat because I don’t have appetite which severely hinders my progress at the gym, and I just don’t know if I can do another winter with this animal in the house.
Other than this, our relationship is perfect and my husband is great. He really is. I don’t know what to do and how to bring it up, or if I should just suck it up and be grateful he’s even rehoming his beloved pet for me. I can’t feel at home in my own house.
Also, I can’t move out due to immigration reasons. I’m an American living in his country. Even if I could, he probably wouldn’t want me to.
Tl;dr: allergic to my husband’s dog, and it makes my life at home a living hell. I work from home. He’s been trying to rehome him through word of mouth for 6 months but I just can’t live like this any longer. How and should I bring it up again? Or just be grateful he’s even rehoming his pet for me?
11 comments
Why hasn’t he contacted the breeder he got them from? That’s almost always the first step with a purebred.
Or, get the dog fixed if his concern is that he doesn’t want the dog re-homed as a stud.
Or reach out to organizations who may help with vetting adoption applications?
I’m going to assume you’ve done all you can with medication and air purifiers.
It’s been six months. A reasonable person may begin to doubt he intends to rehome the dog at all, and is hoping to wear you down. If you cannot be healthy in a home with the pet, bring it up again.
Blocket eller en Facebookgrupp för rasen är att rekommendera för omplaceringar.
You’re likely not allergic to the bulldog. You just don’t like him. Not everyone resonates with every breed.
Your husband doesn’t *want* to rehome his beloved dog and is hoping you will change your mind. If you force his hand, don’t be surprised if he breaks up with you. People who love bulldogs, LOVE bulldogs.
I’ve raised huskies my entire life (my parents raised them too). They’re loud, shed like crazy, pains in the butt. I was with a guy who was great, except he hated my dog. Pretty much all the same complaints he had. Demanded I rehome him.
I dumped him when I realized he really thought I would give away my absolutely beloved dog I had known longer than him. Just a heads up.
If you weren’t allergic to other dogs, I kinda doubt you’re allergic to this one. Bulldogs and chihuahuas are both short haired breeds. He shouldn’t be as messy as you say he is, unless your husband isn’t taking good care of him. Honestly sounds like you just don’t like this specific dog and you should have realized this was an issue long before now, if he got this dog when you were dating and you’ve been living together/married for years? But honestly the way you talk in this post makes me think something else is going on in your relationship, on both your ends. You’re not being fair and he’s dragging his feet on rehoming, so something isn’t as perfect as you say it is
It sounds like you Hate the dog snd it’s not allergies.
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try brushing the dog and getting him fixed.
It’s possible that there is something in the house causing your allergies – it’s weird to only be allergic to one dog.
Do you bathe the dog? Instead of just cleaning the house, make sure the dog is clean too.
I don’t blame him for not wanting to out the dog on those sites. Frankly, if someone I were dating or married to was so cavalier about rehoming a pet that they should have been willing to commit to caring for for its entire life, it would make me not want to be with that person.
Sounds like your husband keeps a really dirty house. Instead of focusing on the dog, try focusing on the man you married and get him to step up his cleaning routine, including taking better care of the dog.
Why does his breathing stink up the house? I can imagine if he’s farting all the time, that would be one thing, but his breath shouldn’t be that bad. Your husband should consult with his vet and see if the dog needs a different brand of food.
Buy some killer HEPA filters and a roomba maybe?
I mean, if I were your husband, I’d rehome you. He may be great but you sound like a nightmare. Lots of excuses from you and hate towards his pet and I see zero from you about compromise, etc.
He’s had 6 months. Six months.
He’s just stalling.
But I’m wondering if it’s just this dog you are allergic to. I don’t know how you can test that… but I’d make damn sure.
It sounds like you have a dislike to this dog. My partner shares an older dog with his ex and she is so old and frail that she only has months to live. She smells, she poops everywhere, she doesn’t allow us to keep her clean much and I can’t be around that.
I try to show the dog all my love and care but my ocd finds it incredibly triggering. I’ve discussed it with my partner and we’re just trying to focus our care on the dog, while I stay in my house when he has her and I go over to his house when the dog is with his expartner.
I’m not a fan of cosharing old and frail dogs but this is their arrangement and as I’m “the new girl” I have no say in it whatsover. We’ve been dating for three years but he was with his ex for 11 years and whatever she says apparently goes.
I want the dog to have the best care possible and I suppose we do that by making her end days as comfy as possible for her.
Wearing thermal clothes in your house while you wfh is just crazy as you said you have a nordic climate and I’m not far from there and it’s already crazy cold over here.
It’s been six months so I would sit my husband down for a calm and rational “come to jesus-moment”. You can’t work from home with the windows always open in that climate. In thermal clothes. Is he crazy. This can’t continue.
Best-case scenario is that he hasn’t made this a priority because he doesn’t fully understand how miserable you are. I think you should tell him that you’ve tried your hardest to manage, but things have to move along more quickly. Since he’s already agreed, I think it’s pretty reasonable to ask him for a timeline and for a set of steps to take toward the goal. It makes sense that he doesn’t want the dog to go to just anyone, but word-of-mouth within his network isn’t working. So you have to tap into broader networks. Maybe not the breeder of that dog, if they’re not trustworthy (as you say in another comment), but there must be other trusted breeders in the country that you can reach out to. Or perhaps an animal rescue organization? They may have ideas of suggestions even if they can’t help you rehome. You might volunteer to take on some of this work for him, if he finds it difficult.