This sub is really depressing at times

16 comments

1. Selection bias. People struggling in their marriage are more likely to seek out advice / vent / rant.

2. Married 10 years and extremely happy. I comment often, but never post, because I don’t have any complaints to post about. It’s important to remember that this sub is a tiny tiny tiny fraction of a percent of married people, and those within the sub only the really unhappy people are going to post frequently. You’re only seeing the worst of the worst here

3. Married over 10 years with a good relationship. We do things together, have plenty of sex, cuddle deeply, have fun with friends and families, and on and on. It isn’t perfect and we have had issues but in the end of the day we care for each other and love each other.

4. There are plenty of us in happy long term marriages. You don’t hear from us because we have nothing to complain about. We’re over here just being happy in our marriages. 🤷

   I’ve been with my husband for 28 years, married for 24.

5. Married 13 years. No it hasn’t been all butterfly’s and rainbows. Yes I have talked to a divorce lawyer before. I have also put everything I have into saving my marriage. And to be honest it was hard and very uncomfortable. I know a lot of people wouldn’t do the same for theirs. I put in the work because I do in fact love my husband. I don’t understand the ideal that marriage should be easy. Sure at times but not all the time. We are different people and are bound to disagree at times. And that is when the magic happens. We communicate and come to a resolution together. Cheating wasn’t ever our problem, nor sex, nor money. I feel like that would have been easy. He is still the most handsome, funny, caring, and down right sexiest man I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to see where things take us next.

6. I’ve been with my husband for 18 years total, married for 11. We have three kids and are still very happy together and in love. I agree with what others have said, that a lot of times people come here to vent about their spouse, or they’re posting for advice when they’ve hit a rough patch. My biggest piece of advice is to have open and honest communication with each other.

7. I’ve been married almost 20 with two kids and we have our issues. Trying to work on it and hopefully we’ll be OK, but a healthy marriage takes a lot of work and time and we don’t always do that. Once you realize you’re in a rut fixing it isn’t always easy to fix and can be too little too late. A lot of couples we know are divorcing. It doesn’t have to happen to you or us, but you need to make time for each other and for understanding. When they say you should always be dating it’s very true. Not easy to do but very true. Good luck.

8. My wife and I have been happily married 42+ years! I love and appreciate her more now that the kids are raised and it’s not as hectic.

   I have had many blessings in my life. My wife and marriage is the one thing I most grateful for!

   If she were to pass I couldn’t imagine ever getting remarried. Marriage can be GREAT.

   There are many, many loving successful marriages. Unfortunately most of those people are not on Reddit.

   All that remains is Faith, Hope and Love, and the greatest of these is LOVE ❤️!

9. happy people in marriages don’t post, they just come on here when there’s time to pass and comment or just read.

   I’ve been with my husband for 25yrs and it’s been amazing throughout. We make sure that we don’t forget the small things, really listen to each other, communicate with each other and laugh at each other. Like just now, he’s downstairs working but I hear a stud finder going off so I yelled out “if you need to find a stud, point that thing to yourself!” and I heard him laughing.

10. Because happy people are out enjoying life. Unhappy are on here singing the loudest. I my self am happy married. I’m sure if I give positive vibe post it would get down voted.

11. Married over 15 years and still very much love my wife. And she once told me that if she leaves me it will be in a very specific remote location with alligators where no one will find the body. So every day I wake up in the same place I went to sleep, I know she still loves me. But in all seriousness, we eat lunch together almost every day and love each other’s company. I’m always on the lookout for little gifts I can get her. She intentionally sets up opportunities for me to make puns or lewd flirty comments towards her. We just don’t comment much on this sub.

12. People generally don’t post here just to say ‘yay! Everything is great and I’m happy!!’. People post here when they need help, or just need to vent

    It’s the old ‘Hospitals must be dangerous places, because so many people die there’ trick.

13. Unfortunately I’m one of the unhappily married folks but I know 3 friends who are married 10+ years and very happy. It’s not impossible or doomed. I would say to look at the recurring things that bug you about your spouse and see what you can do to put those issue to bed ASAP. Those are usually the things that can fester and cause problems down the road. Also kids, kids change the game completely.

14. I’m married for 16 years and we’re happy in our marriage. Some bad things have happened in our time together, and there was unhappiness, but we weren’t unhappy with each other and we rose to the challenge.

15. 👋

    Married 17 years, together 18.. Still smitten like teenagers, have sex 3-5 times per week, love spending time together, support each other’s hobbies, joint and separate friends group outings. You don’t see a lot of posts about this though because it’s kinda braggadocios.

    I’m the guy, I make more and do most of the house chores inside and out because I have time. I was sick a few weeks ago so my wife did our laundry, it was the first time in over a year. We share finances, she has total control over all of that because she’s an accountant and she’s awesome at it. We communicate often so we know where we are. I manage most of our retirement investments and make sure we’re on track in that regard.

    We had rough patches like some of those that get posted here. I worked too much and didn’t support her enough in our early years. We started as a Christian couple with traditional roles, which felt wrong even at the time so that sort of morphed into what worked for us. I still wasn’t nearly as supportive or understanding as I should’ve been. I have to live with that too.

16. Happily married 17 years! I think there are a lot more unhappy people on here than happy. As such, any advice that isn’t “divorce immediately” seems to get downvoted. Misery loves company.