Why do yall piss all over the floor when there’s a toilet right there (in bars)

25 comments

1. It’s so hard when there’s two of them.

2. I’m too busy trying not to vomit up 3 vodka redbulls while listening to Uptown Girl

3. Try turning on a hose full blast, while drunk and aiming it. Now when if you think that’s easy enough let’s try adding in split streams and varying pressures.

4. bc f* the toilet, that’s why.

5. The stream split. I wipe up my own mess unless there’s already piss everywhere

6. Counterpoint Why do *you* piss in the toilet when there’s a floor right there?

7. Perhaps the alcohol affects aim or shortens their hose

8. I know this may be hard to grasp but…and stay with me here…drunk people…ah…aren’t that coordinated.

9. It’s not polite to just flush away what they served me

10. Best case scenario: First guy to miss is hammered already, leaves a little piddle puddle on the floor.

    Second guy comes in and, seeing the piddle puddle, has to step back and take aim from afar, and because of distance, his stream breaks and the piddle puddle slowly grows.

    Then the next guy comes in and has to step back even further, and on and on.

    Worst case scenario is that that first guy is just an inattentive dick and we’re all trying to adjust to the assholery he left behind.

11. I’m drunk you arse what’s your excuse

12. Assuming you’re a woman… how does this even affect you?

13. How do you know we do this? Get out of our toliets!

14. The word “yall” implies everyone.

    Have you collected sample data?

    How many people use the toilet?

    How many piss on the floor?

15. Yo I’d like to know this too. I’ve been so drunk and still don’t piss on the floor.

16. Yeah, guys, what’s up with that?

17. Um, I’ve never done that, but for the ones that have, maybe it’s because they’re too drunk to realize what they’re doing. (And how do you know what the men’s bathroom floor in a bar looks like anyway, Missy) lol

18. So real talk.

    I am 6’5 and that’s a long way down if you’re drunk. And I refuse to sit on the toilet. So the only alternative is to do my best to get it all in the bowl. That’s what I can promise you, my best. Not perfection

19. This persin has clearly never taken a piss standing up while drunk off their ass.

20. If the damn toilet would hold still I’d be way more successful. Also the sights on my rifle might have been jostled around a bit this morning lol

21. Because we saw you do it.

22. If you think that’s bad you should see the art murals made of feces, piss, and tampons on the floor of women’s restrooms

23. Incase women want to try and use our restrooms they will have to wade through piss

24. Asserting dominance?

25. Because alcohol