Boyfriend talking his ex sexual partner.
Hello. I (28f) have been with my boyfriend (36m) for over a year. Recently we have been fighting a lot about the woman that he talks to
. A little bit of backstory. I was married before and have been cheated on many times. And I know this has made me a very jealous person but I am working on this and even go to therapy alone and with my boyfriend and try to be healthier. And my boyfriend has never been in a serious relationship before.
I met my boyfriend we’ll call him John 3 years ago. I knew instantly I was into him. We went on a few dates but at the time he was finishing school and had a lot going on and he decided not to continue seeing me. Until one random night almost 2 years ago we had met up and we just hit things off. But at this time he and I were not official and he was hooking up with two other women. He stopped hooking up with these two women when he and I became an official couple. However in December of this year one of the girls he was hooking up with was calling his phone at 9pm. Since then I had noticed that her chat bubble was constantly on his phone. I found out through the entire relationship they spoke almost every day. We fought about it a lot and he agreed to set boundaries and said they wouldn’t talk as much. He has showed me some messages that were recent and it seems platonic? But I saw a single conversation. He admitted he believes she has feelings for him.
Fast forward to a month ago. I found out they talk multiple times a week. And his argument is that it’s not every day and they have cut back. We fought about it a lot. He offered to block her. But I said no (even though of corse I want him to) because again I’m trying to be healthy and not jealous. But I’m very upset with him and even canceled our lease. (We were supposed ti move in together) AITA? Is He? How do I move on from this? Should we just move on from eachother? I am very much in love with him. But it’s been a month. And I’m struggling getting over this.
1 comment
Think about it this way: do you expect him to change? Is this something you are comfortable with in a relationship? You can love a person and still be incompatible as a couple.
I understand that getting over a person, especially one that you have invested significant amount of time and energy into, is hard as I am currently helping a friend do the exact same thing, but trust me, it gets better with time. Good luck!