I’m with I think a [33 M] Petulant Personality Disorder person. I’ve been with him for 3-4 years. He gets passive aggressive and explosive out of nowhere. He picks fights out of nowhere, super manipulating calling me and bothering me through all methods social media, calls, writing posts about me on fb so he gets his way. He invades my space and privacy for sure.
I’ve tried orders of protections in the past but he wouldn’t leave and/or cops would come when he wasn’t at our place. It’s been a whole mess. Basically, just asking for advice on how to deal with this situation.
I mean the easiest thing is just to leave at this point. What would another order of protection do and I feel like the court system would just laugh or not take me serious at this point. It’s very embarrassing but I stayed in a way for nor having anywhere else to go and trying to deal with him but I realize he cannot be reasoned with. He’s gotten violent, unpredictable.
I have a lot of things, not furniture per se but I don’t want to leave them. I lost my job but I have some work coming up. He has a history of destroying my things. I wish I would have just sent him packing when he got arrested and was supposed to stay away from me.
I thought he was nicer but I know I don’t deserve what he’s done to me and don’t have to deal with it. I guess I’m just mentally tired and looking for the quickest way out of here now.
Also, we share a dog and although makes me sad, I might have to leave him. He doesn’t deserve the dog and I worry for the dog. I wish I could take him but my bf probably will throw a fit and possibly hurt me if I do. A very sad situation I am in. Never thought it would get like this. Believed the best but all I got was the worst.
TL;DR I think I have been dealing with a partner who has petulant personality disorder. I am thinking on how to leave and when. Might leave today honestly.
2 comments
For startes, sounds like this relationship is dead. Listen tot he way you describe him, that is not a good thing.
If you want out, time to start strategizing. For starters, no communicating that you are leaving. Start looking for a job and building up some finances and looking for a new place. Once you have located a new place, then it’s time to call the police for a civil escort. Hire a moving company and have them meet you and the police officer at your residence and start moving out. Do not take anything that could technically be his. Take only the things that are undeniably yours and just forget about the rest. You are not looking for a fight with a vindictive person. You will not win. So just charge it to the game.
After you take what’s yours, you leave and you immediately go to the phone store and change your number. After that, delete all social media. If he is going to humiliate you, embrace it. You cant stop it. Don’t defend yourself, just delete everything so you don’t get in your head. The people that truly care about you will not believe him and no-one looks fondly at another person disparaging their partner. So although it may seem like you are the one to be made bad, it’s really him.
Look, you’re in a bad position and you need to be willing to lose some things in order to get away from this. Mentally prepare yourself. Contact the people you trust and explain to them what you are going to do. Your thoughts should be centered around freeing yourself.
Go with other people to collect your stuff, turn on a GoPro or record with your cell phones, and take the dog with you. There is a chance the dog will be neglected or hurt if he stays, but I don’t want to trigger you with the scenario I saw.
People with Petulant BPD can turn into stalkers, so I’m not surprised that he’s all over your social media. Google ‘Borderline Personality Disorder stalker’ and you’ll see there’s a link. I’ve seen ‘Fatal Attraction syndrome’ lobbed out there, too.
With respect to social media and online chatting, the Petulant BPD users I’ve encountered create alt-after-alt when you block them. They won’t take a subtle hint, like being ignored, and when I’ve blatantly told them to stop trying to be my friend, they still try. There’s a lot of denial going on.
You need to collect your things, take the dog and leave him, then block him everywhere; if he stalks you, you need to call the police. If he contacts you online, block and report.