As a 31 year old Asian in Australia I feel like I’m at a disadvantage for dating. I’m just not attracted to most Asian women (not just appearance). In dating apps for example, the only matches I get are from Asians.

Where are the women who say they attracted to personality? I know the perfect female for me is out there somewhere but it’s hard because I always get this feeling I’m being judged on my race alone 99% of the time.

I don’t get it. I was born in Australia and have lived here my whole life. The only difference is being raised by parents who weren’t born here.

Update: I just want to clarify some confusion about my comment on Asian women. I have met Asian women who are attractive and have an attractive personality. Indians are a definite deal breaker for me because 90% of I’ve had rude interactions with and every job I’ve worked in people have the same complaints about them when having to deal with them.

I guess I was wrong in saying I’m not attracted to Asian women. It seems that I’m not attracted to a certain type of Asian woman and that is overlapped with stereotyping.

Ultimately, I made the post to learn. There’s a good mixture of feedback.

29 comments

  3. Guy who doesn’t want to date women based on their race is shocked that other women don’t want to date him based on his race.

    To answer your question, if you’re specifically looking for white women, I believe studies show that asian men ranked as the least attractive to white women of the races

  4. Start: I’m not attracted to Asian women (something about them being Asian is off putting to you)

    Then: Why do women reject me because I’m Asian? Is personality irrelevant

    The irony and lack of awareness is astounding

  5. First of all people pay attention to appearance then personality.
    Attractiveness can have a different meaning for everyone.
    Also a bit contradictory is the sentence about where women are attracted to personality. It all depends on you, how interesting are you to women in general? What do they say to you?
    If a woman’s personality is very important to you, then what’s wrong with Asian women?
    A lot of people just don’t want to have serious relationships with other races, so that narrows down your search.

  6. I don’t think they’re white womens first choice but then again, you don’t like Asian women, so

  7. I personally find Asian guys the most attractive, like, even if the guy has traits I wouldn’t tolerate if he was white, or fully displayed red flags, I’m still weak for him just for being asian. This attraction precedes the existence of Korean idols as well, at 15 years old I was already in love with the Chinese delivery guy from a restaurant in my town. So you’ll probably find women like me out there, there’s someone for everyone.

  9. Seems like you have some self hatred going on with that strange comment about not being attracted to Asian women. But no of course Asian men aren’t unattractive.

  11. Personally, I find Asian men attractive and they’re usually my “preferred type”, personality is important obviously and I wouldn’t date a man who I don’t get on with. Ive noticed that cultural differences tend to play a role in the longevity of relationships I’ve had. My parents never cared who I ended up with but some of the men I’ve considered long term partners mentioned that their parent’s hoped that they would end up with someone of the same race.

  12. Isn’t it funny how you say:

    >I’m just not attracted to most Asian women (not just appearance)

    And then say:

    >Where are the women who say they attracted to personality?

    And also say

    >but it’s hard because I always get this feeling I’m being judged on my race alone 99% of the time.

    Overal Asian men are portrait very poorly in western media: Skinny small guys, not masculine or dominant. Very submissive, nerdy and not able to speak up.

    I expierence this, but I am very fun, charming and flirty. A lot of girls like to be around me be friends with me. Even today, 2 girls invited me to do something.

    You see, you have girls that dont like Asian men (Just Like how you dont like Asian women), and girls that so like Asian men and would die for an Asian guy.

    Kdrama, made by women for women, portrait the men very differently vs the west. And Kdrama and kpop is on the rise in US, Europe and Latin America. More and more girls Love Asian men.

    Have you seen the Squid Game hype? The guy with the briefcase was so thirsted over. TikTok was full with those edits.

    Asian men can be attractive to certain people, and Asian men are just not attractive to some girls and thats fair.

    Again, just like you said:

    >I’m just not attracted to most Asian women (not just appearance

  13. I’m very attracted to Asian men who are attractive. That includes not being a misogynist and addressing their own internalized bigotry.

  14. Honestly, I find asian guys really cute. But I don’t want to talk to someone only because of their looks. Example, I was wondering if we could have a nice chat because of your post. Looking your profile there’s a lot of porn related that just turned me off, asian men aren’t unattractive like any other person, is a mix of being someone’s type and personality. Good luck.

  15. Not to generalize, but majority of Asian men are extremely picky when it comes to choosing a partner. Yes, I get that you need to have standards, but sometimes it feels like those standards are out of reach.

  16. I’m an Asian living in North America and I’ve only dated outside my race. It’s not a race issue, maybe it’s how you present yourself. Work on your wardrobe, build, etc…

  18. Honestly, dating as an Asian male has gotten EASIER in the past 10 years. I think it has to do with the explosive popularity of BTS, K-dramas, and Steven Yeun.

  19. There are so many women who are obsessed with Asian men. You’re looking in the wrong places. (Though of course it helps a lot if you’re actually attractive)

  20. Are you Indian Asian or South East Asian, Asian? I’ve been in the UK for too long as the ‘Asian’ here refers to those from India, but growing in Oz, it’s usually SE Asian.

    For context, I can’t speak for Indian Asian, but if you’re SE Asian, then it might be more you than the girls online as I know and have seen many Chinese/SE Asian men having white girlfriends… it’s a bit of a reverse yellow fever. Lol

  21. I’m an Asian man in the US, and have never had a problem finding women to date. Only maybe 4 of my exes are Asian, the rest have been other races.

    Maybe focus more on the person and less on the race. I find any woman can be incredibly attractive once I get to know her – personality is the biggest thing for me.

    I don’t know if I’m attractive to many women, let alone most women, but there are women out there that do find me attractive. Chase those ones.

  23. I’m white and I have an Asian guy friend (whom I’ve had casual sex with) and he exclusively dates white women. Just his thing – like how I mostly date black men.

    He seems to have a lot of success pulling girls, but he told me he’s never had success on dating apps. He thinks that there are a lot of preconceived notions about Asian men that turn women off. But when he shows up in bars and clubs (he’s one of the tallest guys I know), he gets glances from girls all the time and just starts talking to them.

  24. This blonde/grey eyed American prefers Indians and Asians based on appearance but they have to be kind, compassionate, people first and foremost. Not racists.

  26. > I’m just not attracted to most Asian women

    Said an Asian man 😂

    You’re limiting yourself and then ask why others rule you out of their pools.

  27. I’m a white man and I think Asian women are some of the most attractive people. There’s someone out there for you

  29. Reminds me of a post I saw somewhere that said your not ugly you are just not white . What a lot of people won’t admit is unfortunately if you are not white you will have a harder time dating in these majority white countries . White men can be prefectly average while you as an Asian man and especially me as a black guy have to stand out so if you don’t do online try hobbies or events which are likely to have women into Asian men ie manga conventions comic cons etc

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