Just came back from a disastrous date. Tl;dr at the end

Right now I want to merge with the wall and turn into a column or something and my flatmates are laughing their ass off. Here’s the context: I (33F) met this (39M) person on the apps about 2 months ago. We saw each other a couple of times, made out a bunch, and then he left for a month. We ended up corresponding a lot, almost every day, with long messages like I haven’t really written/received in a decade. I became really excited about seeing him again.

He came back yesterday night to town and we had planned on a day to meet, but he suggested to squeeze-in a walk today last minute. I was finishing cleaning my flat and reorganising a lot of things with my flatmates (moved in with two of my best friends a couple of months ago, all autonomous adults) but found the suggestion sweet and accepted. Before I left the house, I thought “oh maybe we’ll kiss, I’ll have a candy from that mixed candy bag my flatmate got.”
…

Then I went to meet him, we hugged and he asked me a question, can’t even remember it, but I heard my voice answering something weird and somewhat untrue. And for 15 minutes or so, I answered everything completely off beam. For instance, he’d ask me what was the event I was organising and I was fixated on telling him about the cleaning of the venue, then joked on . I kept on saying things I could only realize were cringe, false or off a few seconds too late.

Eventually we passed a bridge where there was a strong smell of cannabis and I got an immediate wave of nausea and finally (yes) connect that I was high out of my mind because of the damn candy. For a while (probably 3 minutes, but it felt long to me), for some obscure reason I try to keep going thinking I can behave normally and turn the date around, but then would say something like “hahaha I should send you more pictures of my sticks”.

I stopped eventually and told him I got accidentally really high. I was so worried he’d think I just wasn’t able to resist getting completely fried before a date that I turned it into some weird ass confession.
He laughed at it and at how concerned I looked and was nice, fun and reassuring the whole time – but damn what a catastrophy. This is deeefinitely not a flattering drug on me.

I was supposed to get us some cinema tickets, but all of a sudden I’m questioning all my life decisions, my taste in movies, and also I am really damn mortified. How do I salvage this? Has anyone successfully turned themselves into a column?

TL;dr: Went on a spontaneous 3rd date after a month apart, took a sweet from my flatmates’ bag and accidentally got high out of my mind.

Update 1: Before passing out on my bed, still very much high, I managed to confirm the next date but unfortunately also did double-down and invited him over for “a great dinner with my flatmates who are amazing cooks”

31 comments

  1. If I were the guy I would think this was kind of funny, honestly. It’s a great story! You might still be kind of high if you’re questioning all your life choices and tastes because I have definitely been in a spiral like that when I’ve been super stoned.

    Get the cinema tickets!

  3. This is adorbz. I’m a guy of similar age and would love this, it’d be hilarious and cute.

  4. This is hilarious! If he spent all month trading long texts with you then you’re fine, can’t throw a guy with one awkward date, especially if the awkwardness is really funny

  6. There are many things that happen which are either charming or off-putting, proportionate to your esteem for the person who does them.

    Showing up to a date accidentally super high? Hilarious and endearing if you’re into them. Frustrating and rude if you’re leaning the other way.

  7. I was gonna have a date, but then I got high

    We were gonna see a movie or ice skate, but then I got hiiiiigghh

    Now I’ll just masturbate, and I know why

    Hey heyyy

    Because I got high, because I got high, because I got hiiiiiiigghhhhh.

  8. Awwww poor you! I’m laughing, though. I say just talk to him once no longer high, and see where things are at. All you can do is be honest and hope he has a sense of humor (and it sounds like he might!) Good luck, and try not to be hard on yourself!

  13. Sorry, I have never successfully turned myself into a column. I have, however, had this happen during a phone date once and we ended up together for nearly a year. He thought it was cute and endearing. Sleep it off and reach out tomorrow!

  14. Oh my gosh, please don’t stress about this at all! If he has *any* sense of humour the two of you will be laughing hysterically over this by tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of the high OP and take it easy!

  16. Were I the guy in this scenario, I would have been laughing hysterically, then making jokes about how I need to catch up.

    You’re fine. Go buy your movie tickets.

  17. If he really likes you, there is zero chance this is a deal breaker. Fess up and you will be fine.

  18. The last time I’ve had a candy like that I could swear I had superpowers. It was funny. It increases my anxiety tho, so maybe it’s your case and you’re overthinking. It’ll be fine, he seems interested and nice.

  19. This is fucking hilarious. Telling him was the right thing to do, otherwise after the date ended he would have said to himself “what the fuck was that?”

    You guys have a super cute story now. I love it.

    How many of those cadies did you eat btw? Just 10mg, or were you SUPER high?

  20. You did a dumb thing, it’s funny.

    If the guy liked you before he’s probably not gonna stop now, but if this works out he’s **definitely** bringing it up later as a joke, because it’s hilarious. Just accept that going in.

  21. Only putting myself in this guys shoes, if we’ve been communicating the way you say up to this point, and you explained that you accidentally got stoned out of your mind — I would laugh at you probably, maybe think it’s cute, but totally understand.

  22. As a few folks have already said here, this could be a funny anecdote to laugh at down the road more than anything. And your honesty with him was the right call, I feel. Don’t be discouraged by this, reach out to him and go catch that cinema! Any good relationship will have its embarrassing moments along with its sweet ones, after all!

    Maybe double check any sweets you grab from your flat mates in the future though, lol. Best of luck to you!

  25. I am not sure there is anything “to salvage”.

    If I went on a date with woman who got high by accident, I would consider the fact that she told me honestly that she is high as huge win – it means there is trust building going.

  26. Girl you’re still high … damn musta been a good candy lol

    Eat some snacks and sleep it off. You’ll feel better about the whole thing (and will also be laughing about it) tomorrow afternoon-ish. Have a good breakfast too. You’re good ❤️

  27. I’d think it was funny to be honest.

    I think you are overthinking, a lot.
    He probably has already forgot to be honest.

  28. > How do I salvage this?

    If you’ve ever been a sober person watching someone who’s high af, you’ll know that it’s hilarious. Dude got free entertainment, he’s fine lol

  30. I accidentally got too high on a overnight third date and fell asleep on the kitchen floor while he sat on the floor with me making sure I wasn’t dying lol

    He even got me a pillow. OP you should be good just reach out to him. If he’s a good dude it will just be a funny story to him.

  31. > For instance, he’d ask me what was the event I was organising and I was fixated on telling him about the cleaning of the venue, then joked on . I kept on saying things I could only realize were cringe, false or off a few seconds too late.

    This is why I can’t stand it when I’m dating someone and they’re high. I’m putting in the effort to get to know them and they’re just DGAF about everything and I’m getting nothing back. I guess a lot of the other commenters here are fine with it, but no, its disrespectful and I’d be done and wishing I could get back the time.

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