I’ve been having some difficulties sleeping for the past few days and I know the cause. I want to talk to someone about it, but the ones I feel comfortable enough to talk to have bigger problems that mine feels insignificant in comparison. I don’t think they’d hate me for it, but would it be selfish of me to bring my problems up to them?
8 comments
Totally ok. You could even consider acknowledging it like “Hey man, I know you have a lot going on right now, but I wanted to get your take on X” or “I’m experiencing X, what would you do?”. People like to talk about their own experiences too.
Yes it’s okay. If you go to a friend for advice and they make your problems seem insignificant, they aren’t really your friend.
I mean, there’s also a good time and bad time to ask for advice. If it’s something like they unexpectedly lost a loved one a few hours ago, you probably shouldn’t be asking them for advice on difficulty sleeping you know??
It’s also important to understand the difference between a friend blowing off your problems, or simply giving you the right answers you don’t want to hear. The realest of friends will tell it to you straight even if it hurts your feelings, not as an attack, but because it’s genuinely what they believe will help you. (Not saying this is your scenario at all, just a general statement)
Also if you really don’t want to bother them you can always send me a dm and I can do the best I can. (No promises that I have anything of value to offer you lol)
Absolutely OK. The friends I love and trust the most are the ones I feel safe sharing my bad stuff with, and they share with me in return. Makes people feel good to give advice and help, and it makes them feel equal with you. Always being the only one with problems in a friend group actually feels pretty bad.
What’s the cause for your lack of sleep? I also have had problems getting quality sleep and honestly the only thing that helps me is drugs lol. Although I’m sure exercise would work and is obviously much healthier but I’ve just been too lazy to make a habit of it
I’m puzzled why you choose not to ask a doctor, who is qualified to help you in your situation ?
In general (and by default), nobody cares about your personal problems in life. So you need to be careful of who you share your problems with and what problems you share. Your overall reputation matters. If it gets to a point where you are oversharing or doing absolutely nothing to fix the problems you share, people will view you as negative vibes. They will start avoiding you.
Nobody will say it out loud, but people tend to gravitate towards people who have it together in life and can bring positive energy and vibes. You need to be on average somebody who is respectable to be around and interact with.
There’s nothing wrong with asking your friends for advice. Don’t invalidate your problems just because it differs from them. However, i think it would still be better if you ask them first if they are emotionally and mentally available before you ask for advices.
On the other hand, if you need someone to talk to, perhaps I can help you with the best that I can. Don’t bottle your feelings up! 🙂
Ask. One day they may lean on you. That’s the beauty of having a friend.
If I was your friend and found out later you weren’t comfortable enough to let me help, it would hurt.
Hugs
You should work on yourself if you’re that afraid off being selfish. That’s like pretty damn normal to ask for your friends for advice