First time situation for me. 🤣
It must’ve been the deep conversations, common interests or just someone that I really clicked with from the moment we met.
But, I knew that she would eventually go back home to the East Coast.
I want to pursue her. But, it feels like as days goes by, it feels like this “thing” we have going on is slowly losing its fire. Not for me, I always give my time and energy to keep it going. But, I don’t think it will be healthy in the long run. I don’t wanna sound or look needy or always available.
She has a career back home, and made it clear that she doesn’t wanna commit to anything. But, when we talk her face says different things.
Some would quit right away. But, there’s something in me wants to be with her and try harder.
It sounds corny. (I know)
My question is what do you think is a healthy way to approach this without losing myself in the process?
Again, the age difference doesn’t matter to me.
Thank you in advance!
7 comments
It’s great that you’re open to pursuing this person, but remember to prioritize your own well-being and not lose yourself in the process
Communication is key, so have an honest conversation about your feelings and expectations to see if you’re on the same page
Good luck!
Do you want kids/more kids?
Meh, go for it.
You only live once.
Could be the best thing ever who knows?
Older women are great!
Especially mom’s.
I love moms.
I had a similar situation, I was (and still am) head over heels for a women way older to me and isn’t ready to commit. We’ve been together for more than a year, I shifted my country to be with her and more. Unfortunately it didn’t work out for me. But it was all worth it, I struggled just to not loose myself, and obviously this amazing person had brought in new changes to my life…but the hardest part was just being true to my feelings and my wellbeing throughout. As a person who understands a lot, I have enough patience and room to accommodate…stretched myself…and even she stretched a lot to accommodate and more. (We had other issues apart from age gap too, we are from a country where social divide is at the max). All I know is , we tried…and as am still grieving the relationship I do have a lot of things I’d say you’d have to be wary about. But if I’m completely honest, it’s just about being yourself…don’t slow down or make a relationship experience only for her, yes definitely be considerate of not overstepping…but half or actually more than half the effort would be from her side to just be ok with committing and facing everything that worked for her for a lot many years
You can’t have healthy kids with a 50F . Have fun with her for now but you need to aim for women closer to your age in the future.
– She’s old enough to be your mother
– There’s a whole generation of differences
– You’re at completely different stages of life
– If you ever want kids, you won’t be able to have them with her. Even if you adopted a baby, she would have a good chance of dying before the baby even graduated high school.
– You’d be wasting time that you could have spent developing a relationship with someone more appropriate who you could have a lasting relationship and children with
– Any woman that old who pursues someone that much younger is pretty gross and has something wrong with her. If she had good mental health, she would seek a healthy and appropriate relationship with someone around her age.
– It sounds like you’re just starved for attention and don’t get much interest from women your own age, so you’re settling for whatever is available and gives you attention
If it’s “losing its fire”, let it die.
You at 30 years old should not be deluding yourself into thinking a “relationship” with a much older woman you already feel is “out of your league” is feasible, or even enjoyable long-term.
Stop looking for another mother for yourself and find a woman you can take care of who would be a good mother for your children.