So, I (22M) have been in a LDR where we are exclusive for about 2 months and I messaged her (21F) yesterday and today and got no response, which was odd because even though she’s a bad texter, we’ve never gone 24+ hours without texting. So, I called her and she picked up and she said she hasn’t looked at her messages yet because shes so busy with homework and shes behind in classes. All understandable. I didn’t think much of it and said good luck studying; I was assuming since we called she would message me back later that day. So, I additionally messaged good luck studying and that I miss her. However, I haven’t gotten a message back since…. but rather that night that I had called her she posted on her instagram story and page.
Am I wrong to feel disrespected? Am I wrong to just say stop seeing each other? There’s been other small things, but this really angered me. I think of her throughout the day and wonder what shes up to. All I need is some respect saying “Hi, just been busy; will message you when I’m not busy” or smth like that.
Tldr; LDR didn’t reply to my messages for a day so I called and she said she was busy catching up on school work, but later on she posted on her instagram and never responded back to my messages
4 comments
She’s not interested. She should just be upfront with you but that’s not the route she’s taking. She’s giving hints. Stop messaging her and see what happens.
Better yet take your sweet time to message her if she gets back to you.
She could just not like texting, give her space n time to come back to u
thats not your girl bro. How can you be exclusive with someone who doesn’t even reply to your messages? but she has the time to think about and post something for Insta.
I don’t see why you shouldn’t move as a single man because essentially LDR’s are a good faith agreements to be with someone despite the distance and circumstance, the reasons they often fail is because
1. one or both people feeling like they are in a limbo like state where you are committed to someone while you have nothing to show for it
2. grass is always greener mentality, it is hard to be with someone in spirit when you rarely see them and people will withdraw and not care about the LDR if new options, better options present themselves and its basically like operating like you are single because their are no immediate consequence for cheating since the person you might be cheating on is x miles away and would never know.
I say scrap the LDR, she don’t even communicate with you and that is like the biggest thing in LDRs so I say remove yourself and date ppl in your area who are locally available. real talk she could be doing whatever she wants, she is already doing what she wants and you don’t have any real power here other than to continue to pine for a girl who you say your exclusive with but treats you like a second-rate friend.
LDR are super hard in general. If you are in one you need outstanding communication for it to work.
In this case, she’s giving you very bad communication. So now you’re the one who has to take the lead in this. Text her or call her and tell her what bothers you. Tell her that you need more communication in a LDR because right now it isn’t working. And give examples of that communication you’d like to see, like texting if she’s busy and not able to talk much throughout her day and that she’ll text you in the evening or in her breaks when she’s on social media.
This might end in a breakup, but maybe she’s willing to work on her communication.