Hii, me(22M) and my gf(22F) have been together for 7 months, I’m a skinnier guy with not much muscles but have slight bit tummy, it’s just not completely flat, but it can look bigger than it actually is when i am sitting down..My gf pointed out to it and said i need to work on it make it flat, it made me self conscious so at that moment i said ‘yeah i need to work on it’. I workout regularly and I’m actually trying to gain weight and size atm, i never thought my tummy was a problem because it is just a tiny bit..Now I’ve been feeling nervous when we go out and eat something of higher calories..it makes me self conscious so i refrain from eating and eat very less… It makes me feel bad because i wish i could eat something tasty..Things have been getting worse lately with my anxiety and self esteem, i need some suggestions on how to go on about this..She has a slight tummy too which i love so much, It’s not like i want her to love my little belly or anything..but asking me to get it flat asap, feels a bit cruel. What do you guys think?
12 comments
I think you need to talk with her about how it made you feel. Her response will determine if you should leave her or not
WTF so she has a little bit of fat too but you’re the only one who has to work out? What a fucking bitch. Just like I said in another comment body shaming is a concept that was only created to protect women, I guess man are allowed to take all the body shaming they can get, simply because they’re man. For fucks sake, She doesnt seem like a good GF at all
Yeah that’s not cool. Sounds like she’s shallow! If you work out then you’re already doing great, she’s not being very supportive or kind. Body shaming isn’t okay and you have a right to be upset. You also have the right to eat what you want! Don’t starve yourself to please anyone else 🙁
Im a woman and a feminist, so I rarely call someone a bitch. But she is a bitch. Huge one. Maybe your self esteem issues are the reason why you have sought a partner that confirms the poor views you have on yourself. Are you in a position where you can afford therapy right now?
Her comment was not cool and you need to have a talk with her about it. Sounds like she had some deeper issues with eating I’d be a little worried for her. Everyone’s stomach bloats/puffs out when the sit. It’s normal
Dump her. If she can’t handle a slight flaw, then to hell with her.
Let me respond how some of the women would respond if this were a man making the comments.
OMG!!! I can’t believe she said that!! Doesn’t she know that’s a very negative comment to say about a very sensitive subject like your weight? You need to get rid of her immediately. If she will say something like that to you what will she say next. I still can’t believe she would make a comment like that and she doesn’t have a flat stomach herself. You should remind her that she’s not exactly skinny.
Body shaming is a form of abuse and you should not put up with it. Drop her immediately!!! She is not a good girlfriend and it only proves that she’s a superficial, shallow individual who only cares about how you look.
P.S. – Ladies, men have feelings too.
Advice for OP:
Kindly tell your GF that you did not appreciate her comment about your weight. Remind her that you would never make that comment about her weight because you like her just as she is. And, if your weight is a problem she can go find someone else to meet her requirements. Make sure you look her directly in her eyes when you say it so that she understands you’re serious and it wasn’t appreciated.
Everyone deserves to be in a relationship that is supportive and encouraging. Her comment was neither supportive or encouraging.
Also, don’t be surprised that after you let her know that this bothered you, it will come up again when she specifically wants to push your buttons.
>it’s just not completely flat, but it can look bigger than it actually is when i am sitting down.
Umm, this is how stomachs work. Unless you’re going to sit with rigid posture, that’s just what happens, regardless of fat levels.
You need to express your feelings to her as her statement is bothering you which she might have made without thinking too much or just to tell you something as simple as that. Do not resent your body and do not feel bad about your body rather you do your best to get into your desire shape. Once she comes to know how you feel she will assure you that you have nothing to worry and she loves you no matter what. You need to communicate your feelings to her or ask her to read this post of yours.
Even bodybuilders with single digit body fat percentage will not have a flat belly when they sit.
When they take pictures for their social media, they either straighten their spine and contract the abs or edit the pictures, otherwise it’s simply not possible to look flat when sitting.
My girlfriend keeps calling me skinny when I go to the gym and try to gain weight. While she never works out and is chubby. But I would never call her that bc she’s perfect how she is. Wish she thought the same oh well
It is cruel. I’d definitely see this as a red flag, especially if you have anxiety and low self-esteem. Maybe worth not being in any relationship where the net result is feeling worse about yourself. Sometimes, you need to work on getting yourself strong. Maybe you need to love yourself more first.