for example let’s say youre asking someone about there hobbies
and the topic of conversation went like this
So Whats your favorite hobby?
what do you enjoy most about it?
rather than following it up straight to “what do you enjoy most about it?” I’d like to extend the topic , by asking another question related to their hobby prior to this
some questions I can think of are
“How did you get into that?”
“Is that something you’ve been doing for a while?”
What other good ones do you know, thatd fit in nicely ?
4 comments
I think that depends on the hobby itself. If they like to do handmade stuff it might be cool to ask how they get the ideas or maybe even what kind of material they use, if they are hard to aquire.
If they like gaming you can ask about their favorite game and why it’s that.
Etc etc
Oh, I love asking people about their hobbies too! Besides ‘How did you get into that?’ and ‘Is that something you’ve been doing for a while?’, another great question could be ‘What challenges have you faced in pursuing that hobby?’
Imo it’s not a great idea to approach things with this idea of questions that work for any topic. If someone is talking about something and all you ask are theses generic questions “oh how did you find out about that? why do you enjoy that? how do you get started in that?” it makes it seem like you’re not really listening. It’s ok to use them intermittently but really the core of the conversation should* be around genuine interest/curiosity and sharing anecdotes.
I have a friend who likes to talk about work, and he uses a lot of jargon. A solid chunk of our conversations are him saying something, and me stopping him and asking “what is that? why do you do that? Ok well couldn’t you do this instead? Ah, so you do x because of y, I see”. Instead of just a back and forth call and response, there is tangents, explanations, discourse, summaries, anecdotes, etc. In my experience, conversations like this are less linear, and have a large “cloud” of topics to hop between, which leads to less awkward pauses and higher engagement from both parties.
* “should” as in this is what I find people prefer, but you can steer the conversation however you like ofc
I think this is just a good exercise in general: take time to brainstorm and come up with different, more interesting ways to ask a question.
But also, your reaction between questions is what can really transform a basic question into an enjoyable one.
​
Example:
Me: “so what’s a hobby you have?”
Them: “XYZ”
Me: “wow, I have no idea what that is” or ” wow, I have no idea what that’s like” or “you really like that? Tell me more.”
Them: gives explanation
Me: “I never saw it that way” or “I never realized that”. They may comment here, but if not you can follow up with a normal question like “how did you get into that?”, “how long have you been doing it?” etc.
​
Mock practice that convo flow a couple times a day and you’ll reflexively do it the next time you talk to someone.