In a bit of a rut. She’s autistic, both ADHD, living together, two dogs. Been together for 2 years – up and down.
We’ve healed each other through so much stuff and I’m at a point where I can’t tell if my flight response being “you would feel better if you were single” or “if we could amicably separate and still be friends” is a true feeling or if that’s anxiety/depression still. Better than the darker (hotline) kind of thoughts I would have had before her.. We’ve both been abused in the past. She’s had more partners, more experiences – doesn’t really bother me other than we’re at different stages of our own growth and it’s sometimes at odds.
We do a lot of emotional monitoring and even though we say it’s ok, I’ve heard it’s not really healthy.. I sometimes struggle with her not being able to understand my emotional state – but that’s not something I will be able to fix. Only mitigate and learn to work with. She’s new in her realization that she’s autistic (both of us are undiagnosed officially but went our whole lives clearly being neurodivergent.) We both work from home so we’re around each other literally every minute of every day. Been living together for about 4 months now.
Guess I just need tips on mitigating the burnout? I get stuck in my head and think about leaving, but at the same moment – she’s the most caring person I’ve ever met, we love each other very much, and I can’t imagine being with anyone else – much less even try if we did break up.
What do y’all think?